i broke a new record...

i just broke a new record today... *applause* my total working hours for these 5 days, 72hrs!!! that's like on par with theodric's houseman year sai gang in the hospital... and guess what time i left office?

05 mar 2005, 130am... wow, what a refreshing record...

well, thank you chief clerk, skyes, sheldon, kamal and devan for staying back together with me to complete the nominal rolls, pasting of photos, writing of fan ti chinese names... i really appreciate you guys for staying back... it makes me feel that my past few days of hard work has been worth it... well, at least it's 90% completed... some fine tuning to be done on mon before submission...

i'm tired...

well, if anyone insist that clerks are SLACK (no stay in, no guard duty, knock at 530 sharp)... he or she is absolutely wrong... it's sux okie (we stay in, we have guard duty and we only fall out at 630 on avg)... it totally sux to be doing all these sai gang... fortunately, i have my branch ppl to help... if it's not because of some garang "terror"'s altruism of volunteering to take up this sai gang, we would have enjoyed the amazing race today too... well, it seems that my branch ppl are kindda isolated from the rest of the unit cuz we miss lotsa unit level cohesion activities... come on man... it's not that we don't want to join, but we're just piled with sai gang to do... if we don't do, we get blamed, if we do, we'll also be marked for not attending the activities... this is super sai lar...

五马分尸 is prolly the 成语 to potray the qualities of an ideal clerk... i know wat is expected of us, to be able to attend all activities, to be happy, to be able to finish all the work with top quality... seriously i have to admit that, i was and i still am quite a perfectionist person, but i won't wanna sacrifice my "life" for some absurd altrusitic ideals of the "terror"... sometimes i will question myself... am i being too selfish by not wanting to sacrifice some of my time as part of my national service? but hello... this week's 70 hr work week example is a case in point that i'm way over working (standard working hrs is 42hrs)... it wasn't even like that back in ocs, though there were tough outfield training and tekan sessions, but doing so much sai gang simply sux... it is also different from studying... i think we're CRAZY... when we describe the work env and amount of work we have to do, it simply scares ppl off... i dun mind this 70 hr week for special events like this and the tsunami crisis... but it's going to carry on throughout the rest of this year, given the workplan and ppl in power...

i'm getting depressed... it's very evident that within the 7mths in this unit, i have witnessed a drastic drop in the env here... it's getting depressing day by day... ppl saboing each other... power hungry terrors, terrorising and insults ppl with crisp and cutting diplomatic remarks... these full blown insults haven't reached me yet, but soon... the day when i talk back to an officer bluntly, will be the day i'm totally pissed off... this is a very uncertain place, u'll never know what will happen any moment... i'm sick of this place...

my s1 is leaving and the new s1 may be another manifestation of the terror cuz they are good friends of similar backgrounds and freq... the only person to protect us will be chief, but even then, we'll be kindda helpless... i'll soon be the most senior clerk there and it's my duty and responsibility to fend off terrors, but please pray for me that i'll have the wisdom to know how to handle them...

depressed...