Thursday, December 30, 2004

pillar of confidence - 3 saf tpt bn...

there's so much to say.. too much... too much emotions to let out... too much ironies to face... how should i start... i'll talk bout 2004 soon...

but now, lemme say a few words bout the humanitarian mission... we all have this intrinsic human nature in us, which is love... the images of dead bodies and staggling victims are simply so real... it's so near, yet so far... it just feels so surreal... we have been too sheltered to get the real impact... that's why i wanna go for the mission, i believe sean and ron would agree with me that it's not just the participation, but rather it may change ur perspective towards life when u experience ground zero situation... i couldn't help it but felt very weird when i was preparing the nominal roll for those ppl who were activated from my unit... it felt suddenly for a moment that the things which i'm doing has a purpose, has a cause... it's no more wayang games, it's real! real time operation... well, bout 70% of my unit (although my unit is very small) has been activated for this humanitarian mission to indonesia and india... sigh, hq coy was also activiated too but it's only for combat fit ppl... some combat fit ppl didn't wanna go, i hope that it's poss for us to replace them... but on the other hand, there're also risk involve... threat of terrorist kidnapping us, chance of snapping after seeing so many dead bodies, the strike of another tsunami... *touchwood* i guess my parents would be very worried too... i was making phone calls to the next of kin of some of the stc guys, and most parents were kindda worried bout their sons... they kept asking qns like how long will the deployment be, wat are the dangers, will their son be infected with disease, where will they sleep or eat, and many other qns... well, i was trying to reassure them and telling them that they should be proud of their sons for being part of this charitable effort...

the feeling of the entire episode is slowy sinking into me as i occupied myself with the ops stuff today... i dun really feel sad but rather i feel useless... i guess the only and best thing i can do now is to offer my prayers... there some things that are unavoidable... maybe it's really revelation unfolding itself... the end is soon...

may the air, sea and amphibious guys have a safe trip... god bless...

"pillar of confidence" - 3 saf tpt bn

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

a happy day...

it's a happy sunny day... 14 hours of sleep... sweet dreams... i just feel happy... refreshed soul... renewed spirit...

well, thanx sean for ur sharing... realised that work is dead, if u can't change ur predicament, change ur attitude towards it... that's the only way to be happy in a times and place where you do not have a choice... so i decided to come to work with a positive mindset, true enough i felt happier, though i still do the same amount of work... we all have a purpose in wherever we are, no matter how bad our situation, (i'm coming to terms with it) there will always be a lesson learnt, an opportunity to mould you to become a better, stronger person...

here's a prayer for everyone...

"dear lord,
please grant me
the serenity,
to accept the things i cannot change,
the courage,
to change the things i can,
and wisdom,
to know the difference..."

rushed to church for mime rehearsal in the evening... was happy... excited... i feel that it's like a replay or rather a reset from 4 years ago... we're singing the same theme song, i'm acting very similar role, the message is the same... but the style and the settings are different... it feels deja vu but yet it feels new... as though i'm given a new lease of life... this xmas will be the turning point... trust in god that it will be...

joan, thanx for the chalet... i really enjoyed the company of everyone... seems like yesterday where we were all together at the same place... doing the same jiaobinish stuff...

i'm just happy today!!!

tour de singapore

tour de singapore has finally concluded... just the four of us, braving the night and changing weather conditions... nevertheless, we completed this feat of conquering the eastern part of singapore... well, i really gotta apologise to you guys, cuz i misread the map, which resulted in us ending up travelling 500m on expressway... upp changi road east merges 500m into tpe and ends at loyang junction... sigh, sorry guys for endangering ur lives... i know sean, ron and mmg will def kill me for this grave error... i'll definitely let everyone approve the route card the next time round... i've calculated the distance (courtesy of which we travelled and here is the breakdown of them...

ecp bike shop - airport taxiway (9575.86m)
airport taxiway - saf ferry terminal (6381.27m)
saf ferry terminal - siglap 7/11 (16275.66m)
siglap 7/11 - katong bp stn (4428.20m)
katong bp stn - geylang lor 9 (2735.87m)
geylang lor 9 - esplanade (5135.71m)
esplanade - indoor stadium (5690.78m)
indoor stadium - ecp bike shop (5728.18m)

total mileage = 55951.53m (56km)

well, there will certainly be another tour de singapore organised in the near future and all are strongly welcome to join us... perhaps a few locations and adventure which we can look into would be exploring the western and southern trials, adventure trails in bt timah hills or macritchie...

apart from the thrill of biking and the magnificent night scenery of our lovely island, the brotherhood spirit in pushing on was great... maybe i was abit high that day that i wanted to complete our journey... but i guess it was cuz u all were around that's why i had the motivation to pia the last part of the journey... i wouldn't have done it if i were alone... anyway, kudos to everyone...

"open arms" by journey was played on the radio just as we entered mac aft completing our journey... what an appropriate song, it's the theme song for umizaru... an inspiring show about brotherhood...

ron powering up with apple pie

bike check

pit stop 1 @ siglap 7/11

油条supper at geylang lor 9

seeking shelter at a bus stop

awe... the singapore skyline

here are some postcards too...


我也很想他 (电影“在世界的中心呼喊爱情”台湾中文主题曲)

那时我们总有好多话 什么事都可以讲
我的爱情比你早 却一直放在心上
后来你们之间的变化 我不想再多说话
经过了相遇和挣扎 我还是无法将他放下
那是多久后的事了 有一天你突然问我
在那个时候 是否也爱着他 我也很想他 我们都一样
在他的身上 曾找到翅膀 只是那时的他
是因为你他开始飞翔 我也很想他 在某个地方
我少了尴尬 你少了肩膀
而夏天还是那么短 思念却很长
还记得 那年我们三个许下的愿望
星星骗了我们 我们却因此上了一课
成长必修的学分 我们都一样

Saturday, December 11, 2004

the forgotten is bliss...

i wake up... its slowly disappearing... it's blissful... one day, it'll all be gone... what a nice sleep and dream... you were there... you were also there...

我爱上让我奋不顾身的一个人 我以为
这就是我所追求的世界 然而横冲直撞被误解被骗
是否成人的世界背后 总有残缺 我走在 每天必须面对的分岔路
我怀念 过去单纯美好小幸福 爱总是让人哭 让人觉得不满足
天空很大却看不清楚 好孤独 天黑的时候 我又想起那首歌
突然期待 下起安静的雨

我会这么相信 走下去

喜欢听歌 感人的歌 它让我觉得 爱是对的
睡不着 我就醒着 喜欢唱歌 动人的歌
它让我获得一些心得 得不到 我就放掉
不再让日子被打乱了 寂寞很吵 我很安静
情绪很多 我很镇定 因为投入 所以放弃
不愿再被痛醒 固执算不算任性的要求
付出也可能看不到结果 终于你还是选择了放手
用逃避 让感情犯错 承诺算不算任性的要求
人总是不能太容易感动 当爱失去自我失去包容
只想要 从混乱解脱 喜欢唱歌 动人的歌
它让我获得一些心得 得不到 我就放掉
不去触碰到我的需要 喜欢唱歌 动人的歌

爱过你才学会离别 犯过错才学会后悔 哭过后才学会谅解
我会学会 我的世界 失去你拥抱的甜美 我学会珍惜的可贵

把我留在你身边是否就是幸福 两个人的世界你是否就很满足
对我你只有一再的约束 我的痛苦 你不清楚
跟我相爱或许你已摆脱了孤独 到底是你的全部还是你的宠物
我感受不到你爱的温度 如何相处 我不要束缚

这一刻 时间变成行李
越过生命悲喜 陪伴着我前进
因为你 让我看清自己
面对未知的恐惧 脚步更加坚定
放心离开 我我会记得这一刻
那些还飞翔着 不可思议的梦
雨后的天空 会有绚烂的彩虹
像最初相信着 我会找到 自由

最後一场赛跑 他开始踮脚
陌生人的喧闹 一句都听不到
想飞越 他不怕高

an ill ect...

i'm down... lost my battle against the flu bug... but i'll be back in health again tmr for tour de singapore...

feeling betta now, was just too sianz diao just now with some commanders...

time to hit the bed and sleep... tmr will be a long day...

goodnight everyone... *yawnz*

Friday, December 10, 2004

the law and leader...

still feeling high... prolly cuz of the little sleep... the pang sai theory really works...

anyway, let's congratulate mmg for crossing over to ocs... yay, another occifer to be... fortunately, it won't be alpha for him...

we come from many places
all across the land
of many different races
together hand in hand
united we stand
divided we fall
ready to serve our nation's call

therein lies the difference between a good officer and a bad officer... u can have the power, but wat do u do with so much power in your hands?

i think you have a disease, a disease that is so deadly...

you can live in your wonderland, or u can live in your berlin...

seriously, the law is neither black nor white...

seeing case files and preparing court martial cases can be confusing when preparing for the 1st time... many issues are debatable... would u stand up for righteousness? what is righteousness? who determines the serverity of the punishment? what is right? what is wrong? seriously, there is not absolute standard... it makes it feel sick...

you can twist and turn...
you can hide with your flamboyance...
you can wear a mask...
you can play ur game...
we are of no match for u in this field, but do remember that the higher u climb, the greater u fall...
i wouldn't want to join in ur little psycho game, cuz it'll only breed hatred...
i guess the only way to get rid of u will be to work with u...
we'll "glorify" u so much so that ur ego overflows with desires and craves...
we commoners don't mind sacrificing, cuz the truth and good hearted will eventually triumph over the evil... and u will be left alone to suffer in this cold cold world...

do absolute law exist? they do... i believe...