Monday, September 27, 2004

busy sunday, lazy monday...

finished 21km in 1hr 50min 12secs at ahm yest... it was really a refreshing run... broke my pb 4 years ago by 22mins... could have done a 1hr 40min but though my heart and mind wanted to, my legs just couldn't move... i ran an avg of 4mins 45secs per km for the first 16km and as i past the u turn point at 10.5km mark, my legs felt really light and i ran at an even faster pace... by 16km, the time was 1hr 15mins, which meant that if i cont at that pace, i can complete in 1hr 40mins... but sadly, my legs became bricks and i was dragging them every step i took... the most ardous journey was the last 3km, running past mmg hse and the esplanade park... fortunately, met friends on the way like yew song and monda, and seeing them gave me the determination to push on... well, i met my target which i set for myself b4 the run though it could have been betta... i'll be back next year...

running the 21km is great, a refreshing experience, a time to discover yourself, your limits... esp when u run until your legs are aching, cramping, would you give up? if you carry on, what is your driving force? i felt the worst at the 18km mark, but it's not the time to give up when it's so close to the end... once a runner, always a runner... think the only i can be myself and be strong in it is running... emotions of 喜怒哀乐 can be experienced... you feel like crying when u just can't take it anymore, but u just gotta hold on to it and carry on... for those who watched the women's marathon, paula redcliffe brokedown at the 30 sth km mark cuz she couldn't take it, prolly it was the intense pressure to perform or maybe her legs were giving up on her... she tried to carry on again, but her legs just couldn't move... it was quite an emotional scene... later on in the 10km race, she dropped out halfway too... but holding on isn't easy, not many can hold on... prolly the best example of someone who held on all the way was terry fox who ran for 143days before he passed away... his spirit is worth emulating... instead of blessing this cancer paitient, we were in fact blessed by him... well, there are lotsa lessons to learn from running...

flight endurance speed strength

haha, slacking at home now... i'm really immobile, can't walk properly, my joints are all very pain, esp my right feet, the arthritis condition is acting on me... but it's normal aft running such long dists, the last time i attempted the marathon 4 yrs ago, i couldn't walk for 3 days... well, it's been a long time since i had the opportunity to slack the whole day at home, maybe since last year's sars period... enjoying my cna progs and going to cook lunch later... haha, it's been a long time since i've cooked, haven't been cooking ever since i enlisted... feeling up my ucas application later... should i go if i can go? but something's holding me back...

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

touched by an angel...

Spend all your time waiting for that second chance
For the break that will make it OK
There's always some reason to feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction or a beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
Let me be empty and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of the Angel far away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent revelrie
You're in the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here

So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference, escaping one last time
It's easier to believe
In this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness
That brings me to my knees
In the arms of the Angel far away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent revelrie
In the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here
You're in the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here

Monday, September 20, 2004


slept an avg of 4 hours each night on thurs fri and sat... still feeling very tired... drove like siao on friday and sat... had a very ect friday...

- woke up at 3am
- drove to airport to send chin at 4
- went bfast at geylang at 5
- went to sch at 730 to look for burge
- went back jurong west to fetch kt
- went mindef for despatch at 830
- went kranji for despatch at 10
- went ubi for despatch at 11
- went holland for lunah at 12
- went back to camp at 1pm
- worked till 5
- gave tuition at jurong till 9
- had supper at lao pa sat at 10
- felt boliao and went mt faber with my army friends at 12
- reached home at 230am

total mileage = approx 160km

btw, nearly died when i got home, it's really dangerous to drive when you are feeling so tired...

anyway, talking bout cars, my parents will be changing our sunny into a minivan... it'll prolly be renault kangoo... hehe, the pros of it will be the larger capacity, can fetch more ppl next time... 7 ppl can fit nicely into the "car"... low maintanence, cuz the kangoo uses diesel, it can save us more than half of the cost in maintaning our sunny... cons... it's manual transmission, and the speed limit is 60km/h... but it doesn't really matter cuz i won't speed, esp with this high c.g "car"... this "car" looks kindda funky, not like the traditional vans like the liteace or hiace... in response to joel's calling for ppl to drive continental cars, i will be driving soon hopefully...

renault kangoo express...

Thursday, September 16, 2004

lotsa things to say...

sorry guys, my broadband connection has been screwed up for the past few days, can't connect to the net, so couldn't blog... i'll try to remedy it, but for now, using my office's comp to blog...

it has been a very busy and unhealthy week... really busy with work, checking, checking and checking documents for some inspection that's coming up soon... arrrr, didn't exercise at all this week... wanted to run or do weights on tues, but couldn't cuz i worked till very late... wed was worse, wanted to swim but it rained and yest, my uncle cancelled the tennis game cuz the floor was too wet... sigh, next wk is ahm liao, i dun think i can clock enough milage to perform, but hopefully i can achieve my target of 1hr 50mins for 21km, which means it'll be about 5.25mins per km... i'll try to get into my unit's ahm team next yr and i'll be able to train properly... anyway, after ahm will be 2nd link run... it's a 10km run to and fro the 2nd link causeway... anyone interested can let me know... the final running event will be the standard chartered marathon in dec... i'm thinking of completing where i left off 4 years ago... but the reg fee is kindda ex $48 bucks per person... maybe we can form a team of 6 and run the relay, think it'll be more fun...

more and more ppl are leaving for overseas, and it's kindda sad cuz they will only be coming back somewhere next year but oh well... they will still be back...

been hanging around with my unit's friends... it's kindda interesting to hear their point of view bout life and so on... will write more when my net is back...

Saturday, September 11, 2004

a tribute to the the troubled world...

today is the 3rd anniversary of sept 11... it set the precedence for future events...

01' afghan war
02' bali bomings
03' operation iraqi freedom
03' mariott hotel boming
04' aussie embassy boming

this is a 1989 song kindda old but i guess it's a recollection of our troubled history, esp the cold war... as we enter a new stage of terror, we should take a look at our troubled past and see how out past sowed the seeds for our present and the future world...

did US light the fire or was she just fighting the fire?

will the fire ever end?

We Didn't Start the Fire - Billy Joel

'49 harry truman, doris day, red china, johnnie ray
South pacific, walter winchell, joe dimaggio

'50 joe mccarthy, richard nixon, studebaker, television
North korea, south korea, marilyn monroe

'51 rosenbergs, h-bomb, sugar ray, panmunjom
Brando, "the king and i" and "the catcher in the rye"

'52 eisenhower, vaccine, england's got a new queen
Marciano, liberace, santayana goodbye

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it

'53 joseph stalin, malenkov, nasser and prokofiev
Rockefeller, campanella, communist bloc

'54 roy cohn, juan peron, toscanini, dacron
Dien bien phu falls, "rock around the clock"

'55 einstein, james dean, brooklyn's got a winning team
Davy crockett, peter pan, elvis presley, disneyland

'56 bardot, budapest, alabama, krushchev
Princess grace, "peyton place", trouble in the suez


'57 little rock, pasternak, mickey mantle, kerouac
Sputnik, chou en-lai, "bridge on the river kwai"

'58 lebanon, charles de gaulle, california baseball
Starkweather, homicide, children of thalidomide

'59 buddy holly, "ben hur", space monkey, mafia
Hula hoops, castro, edsel is a no-go

'60 u-2, syngman rhee, payola and kennedy
Chubby checker, "psycho", belgians in the congo


'61 hemingway, eichmann, "stranger in a strange land"
Dylan, berlin, bay of pigs invasion

'62 "lawrence of arabia", british beatlemania
Ole miss, john glenn, liston beats patterson

'63 pope paul, malcolm x, british politician sex
Jfk, blown away, what else do i have to say


'64 - '89 birth control, ho chi minh, richard nixon back again
Moonshot, woodstock, watergate, punk rock
Begin, reagan, palestine, terror on the airline
Ayatollah's in iran, russians in afghanistan
"wheel of fortune", sally ride, heavy metal, suicide
Foreign debts, homeless vets, aids, crack, bernie goetz
Hypodermics on the shores, china's under martial law
Rock and roller cola wars, i can't take it anymore


We didn't start the fire
But when we are gone
Will it still burn on, and on, and on, and on...

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

"would you beg with me if i'm penniless?"

a trip to garfield land and a visit to whore #9...

been driving around quite alot lately, tried different shopping centre's carpark, getting used to the sharp turns and small opening spaces... anyway, last nite was the 1st time i didn't have my parents as my v com... drove to jurong point to watch garfield with my cousins... theodric, denise and jonathan... it's also my 1st time, bringing those 2 small kids out for a movie alone without my aunts and uncles, of cuz theodric helped with the "babysitting" too... it was a good show to watch as a family...

then 2nd part of the night activity... having supper with yaolu and paying a visit to whore (hall) 9... wow, the hall activities are really vibrant even at 1am, the night never ends... well, nus halls don't seem to vibrant though, esp with some fat warden walking around... stayed at his room and talked till quite late b4 going home... even as i was going home at 130, there were still ppl jogging and couples showing their affection in the middle of the road, indifferent about the traffic... cool, i might just join yaolu for a jog at night...

Sunday, September 05, 2004



the following cases are sensitive and should not be circulated...

:: case 1 ::
they have this inherent perception that training = studying... the more u study, you'll be able to score... but no way man, track isn't like that... you can run 10.6 on a good day and a 10.9 on a bad day... but it doesn't warrant a right to scrap someone's scholarship after sponsoring his 1st year, leaving this helpless chap who could have easily gotten any other scholarship with his academic abilities, in the lurch and slamming him through the media...

:: case 2 ::
the media doesn't help an athlete much... as we can see from the much talked about case of our 'malingering' athlete... i actually believed very much in the papers initially but apparently, they sensationalised the whole issue when i gotta ustnd the whole issue... it was quite brave of him to stand up for his own rights on tv...

:: case 3 ::
they like to throw unwanted athletes aside and take them back when another athlete becomes unwanted and this new unwanted athlete will then be slammed... this was so prevalent if you follow "today in athens"...

:: case 4 ::
mentally torturing athletes before the comp, psychoing them to do well for races... and continue torturing them after delivering thier performance... seriously, why aren't they happy with a bronze medal?

:: case 5 ::
importing china athletes is not a way to improve our performance, given the well know fact that they like to pressurise them like sending them for numerous and countless competitions before the big one... somehow, it's not easy being a china import... firstly, u gotta face critics about their nationality... but most importantly, i definitely won't be suprise if they get deported immediately if they fail to meet up to the expectations...

:: case 6 ::
are they wise? ... X is representing his country A in a competition which is held in country B... but X is training in country C... so wouldn't it be wiser and more cost efficient if X travels from country C to B instead of travelling from C to A then to B??? bear in mind that X has to pay for his own airfare...


Friday, September 03, 2004

eternal sunshine of the spotless mind...

isn't it a samsara concept?
things will go in a full circle...

memories and the old...

Memories will only be memories...

I reformatted my computer 3 wks ago, it was infested with spyware. This was my 2nd time reformatting it this year.. Different computers have different amount of hard disk space, 20, 40, 80, 160gb. My hard disk is limited at 40gb, it can only store 40gb worth of data. Once I reformat, all the data will be gone. Similarly, memories will only be memories, they are of the past. U either back it up, store it, or delete it by reformatting it. The more u want to store ur memories, the more it will be infected with viruses. The only way of improving the performance of your comp is to reformat it, delete away all the viruses and preserve your selected data.

When u restore your old data, would you want to edit it? Or would you leave it as a read only format or achieve format or hidden format?

Interestingly, i wonder how does it feel like to lose all my photos, mp3s and data now? These files have been with me since sec1. It would be disastrous if I lose them all. It will also be very agonizing to lose 4gb worth of mp3 downloaded with 56kpbs modem over the years.

I have this set of cds which I treasure a lot cuz it was a birthday present and the songs were painstakingly downloaded with a 56kpbs modem. If I receive another set of cds of songs that were downloaded with broadband, of cuz I would treasure the previous one...

I like old Chinese songs...

These songs have great impact on my life since young. I have grew up listening to them. Who is a better singer? Jay Chou or Eric Moo? Jolin Tsai or Deng Miao Hua? Which is a better group? SHE or Xiao Hu Dui? Which is a better song? Jiu Shi Ai or Ming Tian Hui Geng Hao? Well, to those who are in their 20s and 30s would prefer the former type of songs, while those in their teens will prefer the latter types. there is simply no answer. It’s not possible to say that the past is better than the present or the present is better than the past. This comparison can’t be made, cuz the era is different, the setting and the environment are different. Both generation of songs are equally important in shaping me, my thoughts and my preference. The world will move on, present singers will fade away while new emerging singers will emerge, nothing will stay static. New genre of songs will develop, cover versions of the similar song will be produced. Some people will prefer the cover version, but the original version of the song will always belong to the original singer. Gigi Leung re-sang Theresa Teng’s 我只在乎你, although it’s quite nice, but the song will always be remembered as Theresa Teng’s one. Who will appreciate?

visit chinese garden

just came back from geylang east home for the aged... my unit went to this home for some community service today... it was quite a show put up for practical reasons to get some award... but i guess at the end of the day, it was quite enjoyable for everyone, although we didn't do much to help them... we cleaned the place, and presented some song items... of cuz there were interesting old folks... like this man, uncle foo who's very 'garang' and young at heart... he was so passionate about singing, he sang some 民歌 with gusto, like those old time communist... then there was this other old man who kept saying that he wanted to go swimming on the 12th floor and i didn't unstnd what he meant until he say that he wanted to dive down... and he kept asking us if it was a good idea... wertz... and there was this 95 yr old lady who is still very strong and does exercises everyday... oh my, will i be that strong in future? well, it was enjoyable listening to them, even though it was hard to connect with them some of the time... anyway, i was the photographer so i cldn't be with them for long...

we went to chinese gardens at night to watch the disney lantern displays... today was a special event organised by chinese garden to allow all the old folks home to view the displays... it was really crowded with the old and the young who brought them there... there were fireworks too and it was really beautiful... managed to get some shots of it... i really recommend you guys to visit chinese gardens with your family, it is certainly a good place to spend the mid-autumn evening with your loved ones...

uncle foo - young at heart...

uncle foo - the garang one...


pooh display

nemo display

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

be strong...

had a weird dream last night... a really surreal one... felt as though it was real... maybe it's the subconscious part of me...


i'm free... i wanna be free... i wanna fly... fly... i've been running alot, running non-stop... it's becoming an addiction now, it feels good to run or does it? maybe it's just the olympics fever... but maybe not... just finished 14 km last sat in 75mins, could have whacked to a 72 mins but my legs were giving way... my knees were hurting and i've a new right foot sole injury... i think it's prolly my arthritis condition acting on me again... gotta use tape to run now... i can't really walk properly these few days but i must run... sing open is this sat, i can't let the safsa 4x4 team down, i can't just excused myself from it, it's kindda irresponsible, although i really feel that alex should take my place, he's much faster than me now... our 4x4 is almost the national team already with 3 national runners, i don't wanna be the black sheep... i went training yest at AFS and did 300 + 100 interval trg (sprint 300 under 45 sec, rest for 15-20sec and sprint the last 100 under 15 secs) boy, it was tiring man, the last time i did it was in sec 3, indeed my headache came back again as usual due to lack of oxygen to my head... it felt terrible while going home, had prob breathing too, cuz of over piaing the 3+1 trg... anyway, had some comments and tips from alfred that my upper body is too gek when i run thus hindering my speed... well, this is a perpetual prob for me and it has been around since i started running, can't really change it... so the solution is to build up more body mass to control my upper body movt (ew... but i dun wanna be too bulky, it'll convert to fats when i don't train next time...) well, my running style really speaks of my character... you can tell a person's character from sports...

i'm an infant once again... i'm learning how to crawl again... i'm no longer the best, i may not reach that level again... i'm plagued by injuries too... what is my drive in keeping me running or jumping? was my dream a dream of the past... am i just clinging on to a dream that will only exist in my dreams... maybe not... 4 years have gone... what's 14km when i've done 31km before... what was the drive back then? i was running with solomon for 22km before my legs gave way, i really wanted to complete the marathon, my heart, my mind were willing but my body is not... why am i torturing myself by running such long dists (21km for ahm) or go for track training... quite many ppl have told me why run 21km when you are already pes C9? why train so hard when u'll increase your chances of getting guard duties cuz the commanders know that you're physically fit? i should just give up, i'm given this opportunity to rest my body with all the weird conditions, i shouldn't punish myself physically... but i just can't 'force' myself to run very very slowly for my ahm trg runs, it's just not me...

the more i run, the more i find myself... running long dists allows you to feel free, a sense of liberty... it helps you forget about work, probs and it energizes you... you'll feel very happy after a run, with all the 'happy' hormones filling your body... the longer the dist, the more tiring it gets, but the happier you get, you'll start smiling despite all the pain and fatigue... there will be some point of time, you really wanna give up, but you really don't wanna give up and once you pass the barrier, you'll feel free, you'll feel like flying... your legs will carry you on and on...

A moment like this
Some people wait a lifetime

f or a moment like this
Some people search forever
for that one special kiss
Oh I can't believe it's happening to me
Some people wait a lifetime
for a moment like this

my dream? or your dream?

it's not over yet, it's never over... hold on to what you believe in... be strong...