Tuesday, August 10, 2004

happy birthday mom...

8 Aug was my mom’s birthday, wanted to post this up but my comp screwed up. Well, we had a simple dinner at Swensens. It was a quiet and peaceful affair, just the 3 of us, my dad, my mom and me. It’s been quite sometime since i spent time with my parents during weekends, cuz most of my weekends are spent with friends. Though i enjoyed the presence of my mom and dad, I felt that it was lacking someone in the family, and mom told me if only I could invite someone. 4 would be a better number. being an only child is definitely not good. I can’t and will never experience the living experience with a brother of sister, even though I have lotsa cousins, but the feeling will always be different. Neither will i experience the arguments among siblings, nor experience the love for each other. Prolly, that’s why i’m a very unfeeling person, i can’t express much emotions towards people. if i had siblings, i prolly will understand human dynamics more. i enjoyed going to auntie kim’s house for dinner, to see my cousins and relatives, though i’m too old for their kiddy games, but i love to see them.

i want to settle down...

dear mom, dear dad, thank you very much for all that you have done all these years. well, i seldom buy presents for my parents on their birthday, except on mother’s or father’s day. even then, i just get small pres for them. i do appreciate them a lot, but i can’t say it to them , that’s why i hope through my actions, i can make them happy. Sigh, again... i’m an unfeeling person... somehow, i find it hard to tell them that i appreciate them. it’s much easier doing well in studies and track and make them happy... i believe that it’s better to use actions to show your appreciation rather than words, cuz i dun like to hua1 yan2 qiao2 yu3 and don’t mean what i say. However, it’s kindda late now to realize that simple words of appreciation and concern can actually brighten up a person’s day. but sadly i’m not conversant enough in words to express my feelings. as you can see, i’m kindda verbose. Anyway, just gotta accept who i am, i’ll just honour my parents through my achievements and actions. i’m very thankful that my parents allow me to do whatever i want cuz they trust me in the things is do and i dun face much restrictions or high expectations. Even though my parents don’t say it explicitly, i know they want me to succeed. My dad says that he feels sianz not being able to watch me competing in nationals anymore and i know my parents were disappointed when i downgraded, they want to watch me commission. yu... you’re right... any parent will want to see their son commissioning... sorry, this isn’t possible anymore... haha, maybe afterall i’m not fit to be in there...

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