October 5 2003
By Susan Long.
Time to get off the autopilot, says a former civil servant
SINCE Mr Ngiam Tong Dow retired from the civil service in 1999, affairs of state have weighed heavily on his mind. The highly respected former Permanent Secretary worries about Singapore's long-term survival and the kind of society the next generation will inherit. At 66, the HDB Corp chairman insists he is 'no radical', just a concerned Singaporean with three grandchildren, who wonders 'whether there will be a Singapore for them in 50 years' time'. In Tea with Think, a weekly interview series, he gives a candid appraisal of the civil service, and his prognosis of what the lack of an alternative political leadership means for Singapore. The interview will be continued next week.
Q. With all this pessimism surrounding Singapore's prospects today, what's your personal prognosis? Will Singapore survive Senior Minister Lee Kuan Yew?
A. Unequivocally yes, Singapore will survive SM Lee but provided he leaves the right legacy. What sort of legacy he wants to leave is for him to say, but I, a blooming upstart, dare to suggest to him that we should open up politically and allow talent to be spread throughout our society so that an alternative leadership can emerge. So far, the People's Action Party's tactic is to put all the scholars into the civil service because it believes the way to retain political power forever is to have a monopoly on talent. But in my view, that's a very short term view. It is the law of nature that all things must atrophy. Unless SM allows serious political challenges to emerge from the alternative elite out there, the incumbent elite will just coast along. At the first sign of a grassroots revolt, they will probably collapse just like the incumbent Progressive Party to the left-wing PAP onslaught in the late 1950s. I think our leaders have to accept that Singapore is larger than the PAP.
Q. What would be a useful first step in opening up?
A. For Singapore to survive, we should release half our talent - our President and Overseas Merit scholars - to the private sector. When ten scholars come home, five should turn to the right and join the public sector or the civil service; the other five should turn to the left and join the private sector. These scholars should serve their bond to Singapore - not to the Government - by working in or for Singapore overseas. As matters stand, those who wish to strike out have to break their bonds, pay a financial penalty and worse, be condemned as quitters. But it takes a certain temperament and mindset to be a civil servant. The former head of the civil service, Sim Kee Boon, once said that joining the administrative service is like entering a royal priesthood. Not all of us have the temperament to be priests. However upright a person is, the mandarin will in time begin to live a gilded life in a gilded cage. As a Permanent Secretary, I never had to worry whether I could pay my staff their wages. It was all provided for in the Budget. As chairman of DBS Bank, I worried about wages only 20 per cent of the time. I now face my greatest business challenge as chairman of HDB Corp, a new start-up spun off from HDB. I spend 90 per cent of my time worrying whether I have enough to pay my staff at the end of the month. It's a mental switch.
Q. What is your biggest worry about the civil service?
A. The greatest danger is we are flying on auto-pilot. What was once a great policy, we just carry on with more of the same, until reality intervenes. Take our industrial policy. At the beginning, it was the right thing for us to attract multinationals to Singapore. For some years now, I've been trying to tell everybody: 'Look, for God's sake, grow our own timber.' If we really want knowledge to be rooted in Singaporeans and based in Singapore, we have to support our SMEs. I'm not a supporter of SMEs just for the sake of more SMEs but we must grow our own roots. Creative Technology's Sim Wong Hoo is one and Hyflux's Olivia Lum is another but that's too few. We have been flying on auto-pilot for too long. The MNCs have contributed a lot to Singapore but they are totally unsentimental people. The moment you're uncompetitive, they just relocate.
Q. Why has this come about?
A. I suspect we have started to believe our own propaganda.
There is also a particular brand of Singapore elite arrogance creeping in. Some civil servants behave like they have a mandate from the emperor. We think we are little Lee Kuan Yews. SM Lee has earned his spurs, with his fine intellect and international standing. But even Lee Kuan Yew sometimes doesn't behave like Lee Kuan Yew. There is also a trend of intellectualisation for its own sake, which loses a sense of the pragmatic concerns of the larger world. The Chinese, for example, keep good archives of the Imperial examinations which used to be held at the Temple of Heaven. At the beginning, the scholars were tested on very practical subjects, such as how to control floods in their province. But over time, they were examined on the Confucian Analects and Chinese poetry composition. Hence, they became emasculated by the system, a worrying fate which could befall Singapore.
Q. But aren't you an exception to the norm of the gilded mandarin with zero bottomline consciousness?
A. That's because I started out with Economic Development Board in the 1959. Investment promotion then was all about hard foot slogging and personal persuasion, which teaches you to be very humble and patient. I learnt to be a supplicant and a professional beggar, instead of a dispenser of favours. These days, most civil servants start out administering the law. If I had my way, every administrative officer would start his or her career in the EDB. Hard foot slogging.
Q. YOUR idea of creating an alternate elite is not new. What do you think of the oft-mooted suggestion of achieving that splitting ranks within the People's Action Party?
A. Quite honestly, if you ask me, Team A-and-Team B is a synthetic and infantile idea.
If you want to challenge the Government, it must be spontaneous. You have to allow some of your best and brightest to remain outside your reach and let them grow spontaneously. How do you know their leadership will not be as good as yours? But if you monopolise all the talent, there will never be an alternative leadership. And alternatives are good for Singapore.
Q. In your calculation, what are the odds of this alternative replacing the incumbent?
A. Of course there's a political risk. Some of these chaps may turn out to be your real opposition, but that is the risk the PAP has to take if it really wants Singapore to endure.
A model we should work towards is the French model of the elite administration. The very brightest of France all go to university or college. Some emerge Socialists, others Conservative, some work in industries, some work in government. Yet, at the end of the day, when the chips are down, they are all Frenchmen. No member of the French elite will ever think of betraying his country, never. That is the sort of Singapore elite we want. It doesn't mean that all of us must belong to the PAP. That is very important.
Q. What do bad times mean for the PAP, which has based its legitimacy on providing the economic goods and asset enhancement? Is its social compact with the people in need of an update?
A. Oh yes. And my advice is: Go back to Senior Minister Lee Kuan Yew's old credo, where nobody owes us a living. After I had just taken over as the Housing Board's chairman in 2000, an astute academic asked me: 'Tong Dow, what's your greatest problem at HDB?' Then he diagnosed it himself: 'Initially, you gave peanuts to monkeys so they would dance to your tune. Now you've given them so much by way of peanuts that the monkey has become a gorilla and you have to dance to its tune. That's your greatest problem.' Our people have become over-fed and today's economic realities mean we have to put them on a crash diet. We cannot starve them because there will be a political explosion. So the art of government today is to wean everyone off the dispensable items. We should just concentrate on helping the poorest 5 to 10 per cent of the population, instead of handing out a general largesse. Forget about asset enhancement, Singapore shares and utility rebates. You're dancing to the tune of the gorilla. I don't understand the urgency of raising the Goods and Services Tax. Why tax the lower-income, then return it to them in an aid package? It demeans human dignity and creates a growing supplicant class who habitually hold out their palms. Despite the fact that we say we are not a welfare state, we act like one of the most 'welfarish' states in the world. We should appeal instead to people's sense of pride and self-reliance. I think political courage is needed here. And my instinct is that the Singaporean will respect you for that.
Q. So what should this new compact consist of?
A. It should go back to what was originally promised: 'That you shall be given the best education, whether it be academic or vocational, according to your maximum potential.'
And there will be no judgment whether an engineer is better than a doctor or a chef.
My late mother was a great woman. Although illiterate, she single-handedly brought up four boys and a girl. She used to say in Hainanese: 'If you have one talent which you excel in, you will never starve.' I think the best legacy to leave is education and equal opportunity for all. When the Hainanese community came to Singapore, they were the latest arrivals and the smallest in number. So they had no choice but to become humble houseboys, waiters and cooks. But they always wanted their sons to have a better life than themselves. The great thing about Singapore was that we could get an education, which gave us mobility, despite coming from the poorest families. Today, the Hainanese, as a dialect group, form proportionately the highest number of professionals in Singapore.
Q. You say focus on education. What is top of your wishlist for re-making Singapore's education system?
A. Each year, the PSLE creams off all the top boys and girls and dispatches them to only two schools, Raffles Institution and Raffles Girls' School. However good these schools are, the problem is you are educating your elite in only two institutions, with only two sets of mentors, and casting them in more or less the same mould. It worries me that Singapore is only about 'one brand' because you never know what challenges lie ahead and where they will come from. I think we should spread out our best and brightest to at least a dozen schools.
Q. You advocate a more inclusive mindset all around?
A. Yes, intellectually, everyone has to accept that the country of Singapore is larger than the PAP. But even larger than the country of Singapore, which is limited by size and population, is the nation of Singapore, which includes a diaspora. My view is that we should have a more inclusive approach to nation-building. We have started the Majulah Connection, an international network where every Singaporean - whether he is a citizen or not, so long as he feels for Singapore - is included as part of our diaspora. Similarly, we should include foreigners who have worked and thrived here as friends of Singapore. That's the only way to survive. Otherwise, its just four million people on a little red dot of 600 sq km. If you exclude people, you become smaller and smaller, and in the end, you'll disappear.
Q. What is the kind of Singapore you hope your grandchildren will inherit?
A. Let's look at Sparta and Athens, two city states in Greek history. Singapore is like Sparta, where the top students are taken away from their parents as children and educated. Cohort by cohort, they each select their own leadership, ultimately electing their own Philosopher King. When I first read Plato's Republic, I was totally dazzled by the great logic of this organisational model where the best selects the best. But when I reached the end of the book, it dawned on me that though the starting point was meritocracy, the end result was dictatorship and elitism. In the end, that was how Sparta crumbled. Yet, Athens, a city of philosophers known for its different schools of thought, survived. What does this tell us about out-of-bounds markers? So SM Lee has to think very hard what legacy he wants to leave for Singapore and the type of society he wants to leave behind. Is it to be a Sparta, a well-organised martial society, but in the end, very brittle; or an untidy Athens which survived because of its diversity of thinking? Personally, I believe that Singaporeans are not so kuai (Hokkien for obedient) as to become a Sparta. This is our saving grace. As a young senior citizen, I very much hope that Singapore will survive for a long time, but as an Athens. It is more interesting and worth living and dying for.
About Mr Ngiam Tong Dow : -
1959: Obtained First class honours in economics from University of Malaya.
1959: Joined Administrative Service. Postings to the former Ministry of Commerce and Industry, Finance Ministry, and the Economic Development Board.
1964: Topped his Master's in Public Administration programme at Harvard University.
1970: Became the youngest-ever Permanent Secretary at age 33 at the Ministry of Communications. Subsequent postings as Perm Sec in the Ministries of Finance, Trade & Industry, National Development, and the Prime Minister's Office.
1990: Appointed chairman of Development Bank Of Singapore. Later also of the Central Provident Fund Board and HDB.
1999: Retired from the civil service as Permanent Secretary (Finance), a post he held for 13 years.
2003: Named chairman of HDB Corp. Currently also a director of Yeo Hiap Seng Limited, United Overseas Bank and Singapore Press Holdings.
Friday, May 05, 2006
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
ECT: one year on.
ECT - the abbreviation that was formed by ronald - has been used for 3 years and it took on another meaning a year ago. One year on, life is pretty much the same, in fact, it just got busier day by day, but thanx to e my life has been filled with laughter and happiness.
e is an amazing and special character that entered my life about 7 years ago, but the story only started last year. e has the ability to make people laugh with her adorable expressions and multi-role personality. she takes on many roles, like a shoe whore, a cat, a roaring lion, lumpy's mother who fell over the window, a dying cockroach, the worm in my stomach, the old cow, the lamb who was silenced and many more. all these roles are the exceptional gifts in her and they never fail to brighten up my day. i guess for most people, they would think that these acts are childish or eccentric, but it's just so heartwarming to immerse in the little fun of it. e definitely not the prettiest nor the cutiest being around, but she is definitely adorable in her own right; she has a charm in her character and mannerisms that never fail to liven people's lives. thank you e. and do not think that e is gullible, she is smarter than you think. she is able to finish reading 4 novels in a day, know the workings of an economy and knows where the best deals are in town and the coolest online accessories and apparels stores. we are currently embarking on the 'yuppies's life'. though we do not have the money to live in a loft nor drive a z4, but we definitely like to explore the under-discovered parts of singapore. it feels good to plod down ann siang road, club road, or even the serene parts of upper pierce, with occasional dining at up-class boutique restaurants (of course we had discount coupons with us) like space @ my humble house, fish market @ greenwood and occasional viewing of concerts.
our dream will continue, we hope to be avid explorers and travellers, discovering singapore and conquering the world. of course, we will conquer it with lumpy.
- eccentricity. the main force of life. love it. live it. -
e is an amazing and special character that entered my life about 7 years ago, but the story only started last year. e has the ability to make people laugh with her adorable expressions and multi-role personality. she takes on many roles, like a shoe whore, a cat, a roaring lion, lumpy's mother who fell over the window, a dying cockroach, the worm in my stomach, the old cow, the lamb who was silenced and many more. all these roles are the exceptional gifts in her and they never fail to brighten up my day. i guess for most people, they would think that these acts are childish or eccentric, but it's just so heartwarming to immerse in the little fun of it. e definitely not the prettiest nor the cutiest being around, but she is definitely adorable in her own right; she has a charm in her character and mannerisms that never fail to liven people's lives. thank you e. and do not think that e is gullible, she is smarter than you think. she is able to finish reading 4 novels in a day, know the workings of an economy and knows where the best deals are in town and the coolest online accessories and apparels stores. we are currently embarking on the 'yuppies's life'. though we do not have the money to live in a loft nor drive a z4, but we definitely like to explore the under-discovered parts of singapore. it feels good to plod down ann siang road, club road, or even the serene parts of upper pierce, with occasional dining at up-class boutique restaurants (of course we had discount coupons with us) like space @ my humble house, fish market @ greenwood and occasional viewing of concerts.
our dream will continue, we hope to be avid explorers and travellers, discovering singapore and conquering the world. of course, we will conquer it with lumpy.
- eccentricity. the main force of life. love it. live it. -
Saturday, April 22, 2006
it's all the work of the boss up there...
i went training this morning and coached the jumpers too. too bad that david had to attend to the a gals, if not i would love to see yi tian clearing her pb again. well, she is quite talented in clearing 1.32m for a fresh tracker. I guess it wouldn't be a problem for her to squeeze into top 8 during nationals under the tutelage of david or terence. As for jasmin, i guess if she is able to combine both her power and techniques, she should be able to clinch a place in top 8 for long jump. kyle has the bounce and the height to make it into top 8 if he really trains hard. I guess these are the 3 potential talents for hcis now and i would really love to see them achieving it.
chatted with chen lao shi in the midst of training too. he asked me if i'm going nus or overseas for studies and my reply was "not sure" (after yesterday's interview) he was sharing with me his miraculous story of how god has led him through his education; how he wanted to go poly but ended up in hc cuz he failed his english and couldn't get into his diploma course; how the availbility of psc moe schship was made known to him by the principal and how he thought he had screwed up the interview and his A levels (A,B,C), but in the end he was awarded the schship. What he wanted was to go poly but god gave him a better path. Similarly, although i felt quite good after yesterday's lck schship interview (felt even better than wesleyan's), i decided not to think so much about it and let god decide if i deserve a schship and the place of education that suits me the best. However, i just like to say that the questions asked were so close to my heart that i was able to open up and share with them, it is really unlike other interviews where they ask you the same mundane questions. Like what chen lao shi shared, in retrospect, i have been very blessed with all the gifts and guidance god has given me; from my appeal to chinese high, to being brought up and down in life and in track. in fact, i can say that my life has been full of miracles till this present day. miracles do not need to be earthbreaking or magical, they can be as simple as talking to an old friend, but the effect can be a multiplier.
being a bridesmaid or bride may be important now, but it may not be as important in future. there are many paths to success and there are also many variations of success. does success equal to managing a team of 1000 people under you or does it equal to serving a 1000 people around you?
only you will have the answer.
chatted with chen lao shi in the midst of training too. he asked me if i'm going nus or overseas for studies and my reply was "not sure" (after yesterday's interview) he was sharing with me his miraculous story of how god has led him through his education; how he wanted to go poly but ended up in hc cuz he failed his english and couldn't get into his diploma course; how the availbility of psc moe schship was made known to him by the principal and how he thought he had screwed up the interview and his A levels (A,B,C), but in the end he was awarded the schship. What he wanted was to go poly but god gave him a better path. Similarly, although i felt quite good after yesterday's lck schship interview (felt even better than wesleyan's), i decided not to think so much about it and let god decide if i deserve a schship and the place of education that suits me the best. However, i just like to say that the questions asked were so close to my heart that i was able to open up and share with them, it is really unlike other interviews where they ask you the same mundane questions. Like what chen lao shi shared, in retrospect, i have been very blessed with all the gifts and guidance god has given me; from my appeal to chinese high, to being brought up and down in life and in track. in fact, i can say that my life has been full of miracles till this present day. miracles do not need to be earthbreaking or magical, they can be as simple as talking to an old friend, but the effect can be a multiplier.
being a bridesmaid or bride may be important now, but it may not be as important in future. there are many paths to success and there are also many variations of success. does success equal to managing a team of 1000 people under you or does it equal to serving a 1000 people around you?
only you will have the answer.
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Slow Reader
It takes me about 2 hours to finish reading the whole of straits times and I'm only at pg 80 of The World is Flat since I started reading last week. Its time for me to improve my reading speed.
A Foreign Policy Reflection.
Came across this interesting article in Straits Times review today.
US foreign policy: Between idealism and realism
By George Friedman
IRAN says it has enriched uranium. Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak is claiming that Shia in Sunni states are traitors to their countries. The French are in political and economic gridlock.
With all these urgent things going on, it is time to talk of something important, something that has driven and divided American politics for centuries and will continue to do so: the argument between those who have been called idealists and those who have been labelled realists in US foreign policy.
When the United States was in its infancy, France experienced a revolution that was in many ways similar to the American Revolution. Some Americans wanted to support the French revolutionaries, arguing that the US had to pursue its moral ideals and stand by its moral partner. Others pointed out that the American economy was heavily dependent on Britain, the major market for American goods. Moreover, the young country relied on its ability to send exports to Europe, and the waters were controlled by Britain.
Whatever moral inclinations the Americans might have had towards France, prudence required that they not take on Britain. The idealists tried to frame their arguments strategically and the realists tried to create a moral cast for their argument, but the problem, in the end, was simple: America's survival depended on not alienating a country that was everything the colonists had fought against.
This argument has constantly torn apart American thinking about foreign policy. Consider this example from the more recent past: In World War II, the US was allied with the Soviet Union, which was ruled by genocidal maniac Josef Stalin. At the time that the US allied with Stalin, Adolf Hitler was only beginning to climb into Stalin's class of killer.
There were those who argued that the alliance with Stalin was a betrayal of every principle Americans stood for. Others, like Franklin Roosevelt, recognised that unless the US allied with Stalin, Hitler would likely win the war.
Those who opposed an alliance with Stalin based on moral ideals certainly had an excellent point - but those who argued that, apart from an alliance with the devil, the Republic might not survive, also had an excellent point.
Consider a final example. In 1972, the US appeared to be a declining power. It was losing the war in Vietnam and its position globally appeared to be deteriorating. The Soviet Union had split from China years before, and the confrontation along their frontier had, on occasion, been bloody. War was possible. Richard Nixon created an entente with the Chinese that was designed to encircle the Soviet Union. In retrospect, the strategy worked. However, in establishing relations with Mao Zedong's China, the US once again aligned itself with a murderous regime. The alternative was an unstoppable Soviet regime.
A shallow prudence
IN EACH of these cases, the US confronted this dilemma. On one side was the argument that unless the US stood for its moral ideals, it would survive but lose its soul. Siding with Britain, Stalin, or Mao, might have been prudent, but it was a shallow prudence that would eliminate the raison d'etre for the American regime.
On the other side was the argument that there could be no moral regime unless there was a regime. The US did not have the strength to resist, on its own, Britain, Nazi Germany or the Soviet Union. Without such questionable allies, the moral project would be impossible because the US either would not survive, or would survive as a spent force.
It is important to note that these arguments cut across political and even ideological grounds. In 1972, people on the left celebrated Nixon's alliance with Mao, and it was the right wing which raised moral doubts. Of course, many on the right supported Nixon and some on the left, not taken by the romance of Maoism, were appalled at the alignment.
Similarly, it was the left in World War II which wanted an alliance with the Soviets, and Winston Churchill - far from a leftist - stood with them. In other words, the debate has never been an ideologically coherent argument. It has been all over the place.
The current incarnation of this argument concerns the US-jihadist war, and the ideological complexity is clear.
There are two flavours of idealists here. First, there are those who argue that, in waging its war against the jihadists, the US should never do anything that will violate basic principles of human rights - and that it should avoid alliances with states that are themselves oppressive. So, for example, some argue that working closely with Saudi Arabia, a kingdom they regard as antithetical to US moral standards, is unacceptable.
There are also those who argue that the primary reason for going to war in the Middle East is to create democracies.
There are two sorts of idealists here. There are the neo-conservatives - some of whom sincerely believe the pro-democracy argument, and others who have adopted it as a justification for military campaigns they supported for other reasons. But alongside the neo-conservatives, there are liberals who argue that the protection of 'human rights' - often used interchangeably with 'democracy' - should be the primary justification for any war. Recall liberal support for the Kosovo war.
On the other side of the rhetorical divide are those who make two arguments.
The first is that - as in the historical cases involving Britain, the Soviet Union and China - the practical reality is that the US must always work with allies when fighting in the Eastern Hemisphere, and that those allies will frequently be morally repugnant to Americans. So whatever you may think of the Saudis' view of women, an alliance with Saudi Arabia has been indispensable in fighting the war against Al-Qaeda, regardless of whether the later Iraq campaign was justified.
In other words, the argument for alliance in the past remains valid today.
This is extended to the argument that the US should have as its goal the creation of democracy in the Middle East.
The counter-argument goes like this: Democracy in the Middle East may be, in some moral sense, a good idea, but American power - though enormous - is not infinite. The jihadists in Iraq and elsewhere have not been crushed, and the US needs regional allies. The Americans, the logic goes, cannot simultaneously seek alliance and try to overthrow regimes.
A large sword
THE idealist argument - that a country that pursues only its physical and economic security will lose its moral foundation - is not a frivolous argument.
At a certain point, the pursuit of security requires the pursuit of power, and the pursuit of power is corrupting. At the same time, pursuing justice without a sufficiently large sword will get you whipped. And staying out of the fight does not mean that the fight won't come to you. The American moral project can be lost in two ways: through opportunistic corruption or through annihilation.
Politicians do not have the luxury of contemplating the paradox of being. They must make decisions, and inaction is very much a decision.
George Washington decided that safety trumped political principle and broadly steered clear of the French revolutionary regime. Franklin Roosevelt saw the path to preserving democracy through alliance with Stalin. Nixon swallowed political principle by flying to Beijing.
In retrospect, it is very difficult to see how any of them could have chosen differently. A doctrine emerges in looking at these three examples: the pursuit of political principles is possible only when one is willing to look at the long term; the near term requires ruthless and unsentimental compromise.
Had the idealist demand that the US never work with oppressive nations been honoured, Hitler might well have won World War II. The pursuit of democracy that forces the US beyond its military and political resources will ultimately weaken democracy. Moral demands that are not rooted in political and military reality achieve the opposite of the desired end.
But the realist position also has its weakness. Sometimes being ruthless becomes an end in itself. Sometimes the defence of the national interest becomes a justification for defending one's own interest.
These are not simple matters but, as noted, politicians do not have time to contemplate them for very long. Their natural inclination is to act and the action they gravitate towards is the pursuit of power. It is interesting to note that the president most often associated with the pursuit of human rights, Abraham Lincoln, was - in the course of its pursuit - a ruthless violator of those rights. No one violated constitutional protections more systematically than Lincoln and no one was more dedicated to those protections. The paradox, however, is simply solved: The path from point A to point B is almost never a straight line. Anyone who heads in a straight line will fail. This is a lesson that is equally applicable to the neo-conservatives and Amnesty International.
Pirouette between factions
THIS discussion becomes important now because the US is pirouetting between factions in the Islamic world. The US won World War II by pragmatically taking advantage of the totalitarian states and allying with Stalin. The US won the Cold War by taking advantage of a split between Communist states and allying with China. And, viewed from a high level, the US is in the process of trying to win the jihadist war by taking advantage of the split between Sunnis and Shia and allying with Iran.
There are excellent moral arguments in favour of fighting a war to bring democracy to Iraq. There are excellent moral arguments for never having gotten involved in Iraq in the first place. There are excellent moral arguments for not having gotten into Desert Storm - against having based troops in Saudi Arabia and making Al-Qaeda furious with the US in the first place.
From all directions, the world is filled with outstanding moral arguments, and they have their place.
But first there is the reality that exists now. The US has too many enemies and too few forces through which to impose its will. As in World War II and the Cold War, splitting the enemy is a practical imperative that precedes all moral imperatives. In this case, that means playing off the various factions within the Muslim world and making the best deal possible with one power or another. In any deal, the US will wind up allied with someone that the Americans disapprove of, much as their future ally will disapprove of them.
The US may well wind up making a deal with Iran over Iraq. Alternatively, a Sunni coalition led by Saudi Arabia might give Washington the opportunity to negotiate with the Baathist guerillas in the Sunni Triangle. Whichever path is followed, it will be condemned by both left and right for dozens of excellent moral reasons.
US President George W. Bush has been pursuing the path of pragmatism, however clumsily or adroitly, for months now. He will make a deal with someone because going it alone is not an option. The current situation in Iraq cannot be sustained, and all presidents ultimately respond to reality. Mr Bush might have to eat some words about democracy and the US' commitment thereto, but if Roosevelt could speak of the Four Freedoms while working with Stalin, all things are possible.
Copyright: Strategic Forecasting Inc
US foreign policy: Between idealism and realism
By George Friedman
IRAN says it has enriched uranium. Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak is claiming that Shia in Sunni states are traitors to their countries. The French are in political and economic gridlock.
With all these urgent things going on, it is time to talk of something important, something that has driven and divided American politics for centuries and will continue to do so: the argument between those who have been called idealists and those who have been labelled realists in US foreign policy.
When the United States was in its infancy, France experienced a revolution that was in many ways similar to the American Revolution. Some Americans wanted to support the French revolutionaries, arguing that the US had to pursue its moral ideals and stand by its moral partner. Others pointed out that the American economy was heavily dependent on Britain, the major market for American goods. Moreover, the young country relied on its ability to send exports to Europe, and the waters were controlled by Britain.
Whatever moral inclinations the Americans might have had towards France, prudence required that they not take on Britain. The idealists tried to frame their arguments strategically and the realists tried to create a moral cast for their argument, but the problem, in the end, was simple: America's survival depended on not alienating a country that was everything the colonists had fought against.
This argument has constantly torn apart American thinking about foreign policy. Consider this example from the more recent past: In World War II, the US was allied with the Soviet Union, which was ruled by genocidal maniac Josef Stalin. At the time that the US allied with Stalin, Adolf Hitler was only beginning to climb into Stalin's class of killer.
There were those who argued that the alliance with Stalin was a betrayal of every principle Americans stood for. Others, like Franklin Roosevelt, recognised that unless the US allied with Stalin, Hitler would likely win the war.
Those who opposed an alliance with Stalin based on moral ideals certainly had an excellent point - but those who argued that, apart from an alliance with the devil, the Republic might not survive, also had an excellent point.
Consider a final example. In 1972, the US appeared to be a declining power. It was losing the war in Vietnam and its position globally appeared to be deteriorating. The Soviet Union had split from China years before, and the confrontation along their frontier had, on occasion, been bloody. War was possible. Richard Nixon created an entente with the Chinese that was designed to encircle the Soviet Union. In retrospect, the strategy worked. However, in establishing relations with Mao Zedong's China, the US once again aligned itself with a murderous regime. The alternative was an unstoppable Soviet regime.
A shallow prudence
IN EACH of these cases, the US confronted this dilemma. On one side was the argument that unless the US stood for its moral ideals, it would survive but lose its soul. Siding with Britain, Stalin, or Mao, might have been prudent, but it was a shallow prudence that would eliminate the raison d'etre for the American regime.
On the other side was the argument that there could be no moral regime unless there was a regime. The US did not have the strength to resist, on its own, Britain, Nazi Germany or the Soviet Union. Without such questionable allies, the moral project would be impossible because the US either would not survive, or would survive as a spent force.
It is important to note that these arguments cut across political and even ideological grounds. In 1972, people on the left celebrated Nixon's alliance with Mao, and it was the right wing which raised moral doubts. Of course, many on the right supported Nixon and some on the left, not taken by the romance of Maoism, were appalled at the alignment.
Similarly, it was the left in World War II which wanted an alliance with the Soviets, and Winston Churchill - far from a leftist - stood with them. In other words, the debate has never been an ideologically coherent argument. It has been all over the place.
The current incarnation of this argument concerns the US-jihadist war, and the ideological complexity is clear.
There are two flavours of idealists here. First, there are those who argue that, in waging its war against the jihadists, the US should never do anything that will violate basic principles of human rights - and that it should avoid alliances with states that are themselves oppressive. So, for example, some argue that working closely with Saudi Arabia, a kingdom they regard as antithetical to US moral standards, is unacceptable.
There are also those who argue that the primary reason for going to war in the Middle East is to create democracies.
There are two sorts of idealists here. There are the neo-conservatives - some of whom sincerely believe the pro-democracy argument, and others who have adopted it as a justification for military campaigns they supported for other reasons. But alongside the neo-conservatives, there are liberals who argue that the protection of 'human rights' - often used interchangeably with 'democracy' - should be the primary justification for any war. Recall liberal support for the Kosovo war.
On the other side of the rhetorical divide are those who make two arguments.
The first is that - as in the historical cases involving Britain, the Soviet Union and China - the practical reality is that the US must always work with allies when fighting in the Eastern Hemisphere, and that those allies will frequently be morally repugnant to Americans. So whatever you may think of the Saudis' view of women, an alliance with Saudi Arabia has been indispensable in fighting the war against Al-Qaeda, regardless of whether the later Iraq campaign was justified.
In other words, the argument for alliance in the past remains valid today.
This is extended to the argument that the US should have as its goal the creation of democracy in the Middle East.
The counter-argument goes like this: Democracy in the Middle East may be, in some moral sense, a good idea, but American power - though enormous - is not infinite. The jihadists in Iraq and elsewhere have not been crushed, and the US needs regional allies. The Americans, the logic goes, cannot simultaneously seek alliance and try to overthrow regimes.
A large sword
THE idealist argument - that a country that pursues only its physical and economic security will lose its moral foundation - is not a frivolous argument.
At a certain point, the pursuit of security requires the pursuit of power, and the pursuit of power is corrupting. At the same time, pursuing justice without a sufficiently large sword will get you whipped. And staying out of the fight does not mean that the fight won't come to you. The American moral project can be lost in two ways: through opportunistic corruption or through annihilation.
Politicians do not have the luxury of contemplating the paradox of being. They must make decisions, and inaction is very much a decision.
George Washington decided that safety trumped political principle and broadly steered clear of the French revolutionary regime. Franklin Roosevelt saw the path to preserving democracy through alliance with Stalin. Nixon swallowed political principle by flying to Beijing.
In retrospect, it is very difficult to see how any of them could have chosen differently. A doctrine emerges in looking at these three examples: the pursuit of political principles is possible only when one is willing to look at the long term; the near term requires ruthless and unsentimental compromise.
Had the idealist demand that the US never work with oppressive nations been honoured, Hitler might well have won World War II. The pursuit of democracy that forces the US beyond its military and political resources will ultimately weaken democracy. Moral demands that are not rooted in political and military reality achieve the opposite of the desired end.
But the realist position also has its weakness. Sometimes being ruthless becomes an end in itself. Sometimes the defence of the national interest becomes a justification for defending one's own interest.
These are not simple matters but, as noted, politicians do not have time to contemplate them for very long. Their natural inclination is to act and the action they gravitate towards is the pursuit of power. It is interesting to note that the president most often associated with the pursuit of human rights, Abraham Lincoln, was - in the course of its pursuit - a ruthless violator of those rights. No one violated constitutional protections more systematically than Lincoln and no one was more dedicated to those protections. The paradox, however, is simply solved: The path from point A to point B is almost never a straight line. Anyone who heads in a straight line will fail. This is a lesson that is equally applicable to the neo-conservatives and Amnesty International.
Pirouette between factions
THIS discussion becomes important now because the US is pirouetting between factions in the Islamic world. The US won World War II by pragmatically taking advantage of the totalitarian states and allying with Stalin. The US won the Cold War by taking advantage of a split between Communist states and allying with China. And, viewed from a high level, the US is in the process of trying to win the jihadist war by taking advantage of the split between Sunnis and Shia and allying with Iran.
There are excellent moral arguments in favour of fighting a war to bring democracy to Iraq. There are excellent moral arguments for never having gotten involved in Iraq in the first place. There are excellent moral arguments for not having gotten into Desert Storm - against having based troops in Saudi Arabia and making Al-Qaeda furious with the US in the first place.
From all directions, the world is filled with outstanding moral arguments, and they have their place.
But first there is the reality that exists now. The US has too many enemies and too few forces through which to impose its will. As in World War II and the Cold War, splitting the enemy is a practical imperative that precedes all moral imperatives. In this case, that means playing off the various factions within the Muslim world and making the best deal possible with one power or another. In any deal, the US will wind up allied with someone that the Americans disapprove of, much as their future ally will disapprove of them.
The US may well wind up making a deal with Iran over Iraq. Alternatively, a Sunni coalition led by Saudi Arabia might give Washington the opportunity to negotiate with the Baathist guerillas in the Sunni Triangle. Whichever path is followed, it will be condemned by both left and right for dozens of excellent moral reasons.
US President George W. Bush has been pursuing the path of pragmatism, however clumsily or adroitly, for months now. He will make a deal with someone because going it alone is not an option. The current situation in Iraq cannot be sustained, and all presidents ultimately respond to reality. Mr Bush might have to eat some words about democracy and the US' commitment thereto, but if Roosevelt could speak of the Four Freedoms while working with Stalin, all things are possible.
Copyright: Strategic Forecasting Inc
Friday, April 14, 2006
5 Misses in 15 Minutes
It all occured between 20:05 and 20:20.
Miss #1: Cycling across the left filter lane ignoring my car's movements
Miss #2: Running across the traffic junction when the pedestrian signs were red
Miss #3: Running across the road from the front of a bus
Miss #4: Cycling against traffic in the middle of a two lane road
Miss #5: Running across the road from the center divider
All these near misses could have led to injuries or maybe fatalities and ultimately. Drivers, please drive carefully but more importantly, pedestrians and cyclist, share the road wisely.
Miss #1: Cycling across the left filter lane ignoring my car's movements
Miss #2: Running across the traffic junction when the pedestrian signs were red
Miss #3: Running across the road from the front of a bus
Miss #4: Cycling against traffic in the middle of a two lane road
Miss #5: Running across the road from the center divider
All these near misses could have led to injuries or maybe fatalities and ultimately. Drivers, please drive carefully but more importantly, pedestrians and cyclist, share the road wisely.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
a debut.
i guess everytime when i start posting an entry will be on track, but anw i decided to post an entry cuz apparently my website is not ready yet and it's time for some ranting again. life has been pretty much the same, or rather busier if i were to be specific as compared to my good old days in school or saf.
The only difference is that money is part of the time equation now, which can be quite a good motivation. But is it really the main source of motivation? I was chatting with e and we came to a conclusion that if a person who doesn't know what he or she wants in life, the easiest path to pick would be the route to wealth and 'happiness'.
For those who do not know where or what i am doing now, i am currently relief teaching in hwa chong international. for those who might think that it is a subsidary school, it is not. it is an independent and private school, which renders it a business organisation. the school fees are 15k a year for a student, which adds up to 60k in 4 years and that is enough for me to complete my undergrad studies in nus 2.5 times!! what a brilliant social entrepreneurship movement by the school. Similarly I came to a conclusion that it is not that difficult in getting into a US university. With a humble SAT score, the world's most powerful man actually managed to get obtain a degree from Yale. Answer: you got to have money. It's true, even with a place in a university, you need money to get into it. Well, I have been contemplating the idea of loaning 120k to study in Cincinnati, but I guess that it is not really a wise thing to do. Ultimatly, a bachelors is not the end point for me and the school is not great enough to me to take that risk.
Oh well, I'm back to training again, it feels refreshing after being in the doldrums for the past 2 years. I managed to clear 6.1m after 2 trainings and it is the furthest leap in two years. However, this is still far from my target. What is my target? What am I training for? I guess i'm just training for fun now and for memory, to enjoy the feeling of being a student again. I seriously do not foresee the possiblity of a full committment in training when i start school. Training for me has taken on a new meaning, a new discovery. I was introduced with some refreshing ideas and training techniques. Sir (aka mr yeo) has been commenting that I am making loads of fundamental errors in body control and this actually translate into dialy life activities. The lack of courage and the problem of hesitation is causing me not to perform back and side flips properly. The lack of focus and control over my legs is causing me not to convert my run up to a jump smoothly. The way in overcoming it is not only by training more, but also to curb these problems in my daily life. It works in a cycle, if I can curb these problems during training, I will be less likely to fumble in my life. On the other hand, if I can be very focused in my work, I will be able to perform during training.
It's back to work...
The only difference is that money is part of the time equation now, which can be quite a good motivation. But is it really the main source of motivation? I was chatting with e and we came to a conclusion that if a person who doesn't know what he or she wants in life, the easiest path to pick would be the route to wealth and 'happiness'.
For those who do not know where or what i am doing now, i am currently relief teaching in hwa chong international. for those who might think that it is a subsidary school, it is not. it is an independent and private school, which renders it a business organisation. the school fees are 15k a year for a student, which adds up to 60k in 4 years and that is enough for me to complete my undergrad studies in nus 2.5 times!! what a brilliant social entrepreneurship movement by the school. Similarly I came to a conclusion that it is not that difficult in getting into a US university. With a humble SAT score, the world's most powerful man actually managed to get obtain a degree from Yale. Answer: you got to have money. It's true, even with a place in a university, you need money to get into it. Well, I have been contemplating the idea of loaning 120k to study in Cincinnati, but I guess that it is not really a wise thing to do. Ultimatly, a bachelors is not the end point for me and the school is not great enough to me to take that risk.
Oh well, I'm back to training again, it feels refreshing after being in the doldrums for the past 2 years. I managed to clear 6.1m after 2 trainings and it is the furthest leap in two years. However, this is still far from my target. What is my target? What am I training for? I guess i'm just training for fun now and for memory, to enjoy the feeling of being a student again. I seriously do not foresee the possiblity of a full committment in training when i start school. Training for me has taken on a new meaning, a new discovery. I was introduced with some refreshing ideas and training techniques. Sir (aka mr yeo) has been commenting that I am making loads of fundamental errors in body control and this actually translate into dialy life activities. The lack of courage and the problem of hesitation is causing me not to perform back and side flips properly. The lack of focus and control over my legs is causing me not to convert my run up to a jump smoothly. The way in overcoming it is not only by training more, but also to curb these problems in my daily life. It works in a cycle, if I can curb these problems during training, I will be less likely to fumble in my life. On the other hand, if I can be very focused in my work, I will be able to perform during training.
It's back to work...
Monday, July 18, 2005
first blog after a long time...
i'm home... totally tired from running 15km. well, it's kindda a torturous way to siam work and get off, esp with the streaks of death in saf, i kindda fear my own safety while running. but then again, if i dun run, how else can i get away from the depressing workplace.
i was looking at the national schs track results and it seems that its rj's year again... 7.02m! finally there's someone breaking the 7m barrier. well, it seems that our sporting scene is picking up again after being dormant for years, or maybe decades. there is this twilight zone feeling about nationals... after piaing 6 years for the overall title, the end. "the chinese high school" or "hwa chong junior college" is just another name on the overall champ list. the name on the records list will only be just another name. who remembers (or who knows) the record holder for c div high jump? well, no one, personally i do not know who that person is anyway. life goes on. it's all but temporial. but why do we treasure it so much in the 1st place?
as a champion of *** (pui!! stupid award), i should say something about the organisation. the org had some prob all the while. if anyone were to join me for the gathering, there is def some big prob with it. the functions for us were too grand. they used tear resistant high quality stickers for our nametags. they had fabulous food. we had special "nannies" to take care of us. this is even betta, there were overseas leadership camps for us, to US somemore (but too bad, they cancelled it for my year)... well of cuz from a materialistic point of view, this org is def too good to be true... "where is the money?" well, are we still going to give? crap... maybe i'll be ostracised by having connections with the org...
rainy day... jaded...
btw, combat ration tastes good as lunch...
i was looking at the national schs track results and it seems that its rj's year again... 7.02m! finally there's someone breaking the 7m barrier. well, it seems that our sporting scene is picking up again after being dormant for years, or maybe decades. there is this twilight zone feeling about nationals... after piaing 6 years for the overall title, the end. "the chinese high school" or "hwa chong junior college" is just another name on the overall champ list. the name on the records list will only be just another name. who remembers (or who knows) the record holder for c div high jump? well, no one, personally i do not know who that person is anyway. life goes on. it's all but temporial. but why do we treasure it so much in the 1st place?
as a champion of *** (pui!! stupid award), i should say something about the organisation. the org had some prob all the while. if anyone were to join me for the gathering, there is def some big prob with it. the functions for us were too grand. they used tear resistant high quality stickers for our nametags. they had fabulous food. we had special "nannies" to take care of us. this is even betta, there were overseas leadership camps for us, to US somemore (but too bad, they cancelled it for my year)... well of cuz from a materialistic point of view, this org is def too good to be true... "where is the money?" well, are we still going to give? crap... maybe i'll be ostracised by having connections with the org...
rainy day... jaded...
btw, combat ration tastes good as lunch...
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
i'm back...
i'm back... watch this space for more photos on taiwan... well, tonghua has to go after hearing it sooooo many times soooo many days in taiwan... well, i've changed the genre to praise songs...
"you"
story of e.c.t
"you"
story of e.c.t
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
taiwan phone no...
hey guys,
this is my taiwan hp no...
+886927134410
haha, my outgoing sms are free!!!
this is my taiwan hp no...
+886927134410
haha, my outgoing sms are free!!!
i wanna go home...
kindda sianz of this trip liao... having stunts almost everyday after 10pm... well, i guess i had my share of fun of this place liao... it's really boring in the office, becoming lame lamer lamest everyday... did some ect videos and photo editing... photoshop seems to be the only form of entertainment over here... should have installed other progs onto the laptop, then it won't be so boring...
but the env here quite nice, been swimming for the past 2 days... haven't been running or training... shucks... gonna die for logistics meet next tue 26... i'm running 4x1 and 4x4... hopefully i still can deliver... seriously, my team is kindda power this year, with me, shafiq, alex teng... should be able to clich double 1st if no screw ups...
well, i'm like missing everyone back home... been thinking of everyone, esp some ppl... haiz... had a happy but scary dream 2 nights ago, seems really real and the building in my dream was really beautiful... some thoughts are better to be forgotten...
it'll be home sweet home soon... 4 more days... hang in there... and time to earn $$$ again...
but the env here quite nice, been swimming for the past 2 days... haven't been running or training... shucks... gonna die for logistics meet next tue 26... i'm running 4x1 and 4x4... hopefully i still can deliver... seriously, my team is kindda power this year, with me, shafiq, alex teng... should be able to clich double 1st if no screw ups...
well, i'm like missing everyone back home... been thinking of everyone, esp some ppl... haiz... had a happy but scary dream 2 nights ago, seems really real and the building in my dream was really beautiful... some thoughts are better to be forgotten...
it'll be home sweet home soon... 4 more days... hang in there... and time to earn $$$ again...
Friday, April 15, 2005
hi ppl... another update from taiwan... well, i may get my sim card tmr afterall... yay!!! shall post my no up tmr... oopz, realised that i finished my phonecard vaue that night... hehe... haha, haven't been moving ard much these few days, was filled with sai gang... but most of the burden fell on s4... she's kindda poor thing, to be arrowed for things and managed everything... we couldn't help much too... haha... photoshop has been our only form of entertainment these few days... shane and i did some photo editing... i created some zai cd covers and postcards, while shane did jiaobinish editing stuff... really farni man... shall post them up when i'm back... btw, i'm kindda put off by pork over here... it's really fatty and gross...
weather was good 2 days ago... 17 deg... good weather for running... ran with s4 for bout 6km and the feeling was great... cool breeze and nice scenery of the harbour... but we sway lar, bumped into 'big boss' and hao xin mei hao bao... ran there to visit them and he accused us of being too free... sian diao lor... anw, if only spore had such weather and scenery for running... then it'll be nice to run with u... haaa sean, cnb still isn't very conducive compared to here... the weather was good to sleep in the nice comfy sleeping bag...
i realised that my chinese pronunciation cannot make it... though i try to speak properly but it sounds abit weird... and there's lotsa things i can't translate into chinese... and there're some words that are expressed differently over here... well, here's a gek news for the guys... the ns here is 1.5 years!!! if you're 1.55m or shorter, myopia of 1000 deg or more, heart, lungs, and other probs, you would not need to serve ns!!! best lor... that means that... half od 62 jiaobins will be freed from ns... gek gek gek... and they can serve ns after uni... ?!!
hmm, tmr and sun will be shore liberty... it's time to shop and eat till we drop and get out of that stressful office... sigh... but i'm running low on $$$$$$$... okie... time to go back liao... tata... having deja vus these few days... i think i've dreamt about some scenes in this office before...
next stop... the edge of the world...
weather was good 2 days ago... 17 deg... good weather for running... ran with s4 for bout 6km and the feeling was great... cool breeze and nice scenery of the harbour... but we sway lar, bumped into 'big boss' and hao xin mei hao bao... ran there to visit them and he accused us of being too free... sian diao lor... anw, if only spore had such weather and scenery for running... then it'll be nice to run with u... haaa sean, cnb still isn't very conducive compared to here... the weather was good to sleep in the nice comfy sleeping bag...
i realised that my chinese pronunciation cannot make it... though i try to speak properly but it sounds abit weird... and there's lotsa things i can't translate into chinese... and there're some words that are expressed differently over here... well, here's a gek news for the guys... the ns here is 1.5 years!!! if you're 1.55m or shorter, myopia of 1000 deg or more, heart, lungs, and other probs, you would not need to serve ns!!! best lor... that means that... half od 62 jiaobins will be freed from ns... gek gek gek... and they can serve ns after uni... ?!!
hmm, tmr and sun will be shore liberty... it's time to shop and eat till we drop and get out of that stressful office... sigh... but i'm running low on $$$$$$$... okie... time to go back liao... tata... having deja vus these few days... i think i've dreamt about some scenes in this office before...
next stop... the edge of the world...
Monday, April 11, 2005
Jaci Velasquez - You
Who makes
The sun light up my shadows
When the darkness tries to follow me?
Who makes
The air that brings me life
So I can breathe the love that's given to me?
You make ev'rything good,
Ev'rything wonderful.
You grace my days
And heaven fills my view.
Let's forever sing.
You make ev'rything pure,
Ev'rything beautiful.
You make me see the only thing that's true:
It's You,
It's You.
Who makes
The waters of my sorrow part
And leads the gladness into my heart?
Who makes
The rivers run that wash away
And clean my soul to make a new start?
You make ev'rything good,
Ev'rything wonderful.
You grace my days
And heaven fills my view.
Let's forever sing.
You make ev'rything pure,
Ev'rything beautiful.
You make me see the only thing that's true:
It's You.
The sun light up my shadows
When the darkness tries to follow me?
Who makes
The air that brings me life
So I can breathe the love that's given to me?
You make ev'rything good,
Ev'rything wonderful.
You grace my days
And heaven fills my view.
Let's forever sing.
You make ev'rything pure,
Ev'rything beautiful.
You make me see the only thing that's true:
It's You,
It's You.
Who makes
The waters of my sorrow part
And leads the gladness into my heart?
Who makes
The rivers run that wash away
And clean my soul to make a new start?
You make ev'rything good,
Ev'rything wonderful.
You grace my days
And heaven fills my view.
Let's forever sing.
You make ev'rything pure,
Ev'rything beautiful.
You make me see the only thing that's true:
It's You.
greetings from taiwan...
hey guys, i'm in taiwan now... greetings... thank you for all the well wishes... well, i'm quite fine... the china airlines (b737) didn't crash fortunately... or unfortunately, if not there won't be ect anymore... but ect shall make his presence everywhere... hehe...
these few days have been sai gang... but not really alot to do also lar... settled uniforms, preparing the office and clearing up the place... the living conditions were better than what i expected and it's betta than the bunks back in 3 tpt, even though this place was built in 1972... kindda ghostly at night, with all the abandoned classrooms... we have a nice cozy classroom converted to a office plus bunk... there's great bathing facilities with hot water and yes!! no mosaic tiles!! well, the pool is really tempting to swim in but boo... we're not allowed to.. haha... the naval base is really really huge... it's as big as one jurong estate... crazy rite... went to heng chun and pao li camps to settle things too and it's like 2hr ride in the car... sat until my butt went numb... they used nissan sunny to fetch us there and their sunny is meant for big shots in taiwan navy to sit in one... so we're really fortunate to be able to take their gp car... well, the good thing about the sunny is that, there's no swd and they sped through the freeway at 120-130kph... hmm, the minibus also sped ard the same speed on the freeway too... kindda scary siting the minibus at that speed esp when it's conering... but we're still in one piece... anw, we're situated beside the dock... and it's really a great place to run... and clock mileage... ran everyday since i came here, shall run again later... i enjoyed the sea breeze n the sunset... marvellous to run with someone... well, as for touring... we're at zuo ying which is 30mins north of kaoshiung... but it's located at the south eastern tip of taiwan... hmm, took train to kaoshiung last nite for dinner... it's quite happening, much bigger and complicated... took some ect shots again... shall upload when i have the oppo to do so... darn.. the net in this net cafe doesn't support usb... well, the train sys here is like our mrt except the stations are more lok kok... but then it's more vibrant than spore... the steak house which we ate at was marvellous... 220nt = S$13 for a rib eye steak set meal... the desert and appetizer is free flow buffet style too... this place can trash any steak house back home... haha... oh yah, btw the pool centre at the mess over here is really cheap too... 200nt for 3hrs for a 9 inch table which is about S$12 likedat... well, my s4 went to chiong last nite at some pub to ying chou the other officers... and she'll bring us along one of these days... but i guess, i would love to visit more interesting places like the nature parks and spas... haha, the rest of the ppl will be sailing off sea tmr and won't be back till fri.. that means we're free from 'haressment' until they come back and we're free... hopefully we can get to go out.. haha... okie ppl, more updates coming up in a few days time...
btw, i still haven't gotten any sim card to call back... sigh... if there's any emergency, u can call 886-07-581-0853... but u gotta pay idd charges... haha... take care ppl, i'll be touching down at changi on 24 apr 0310hrs... haha...
these few days have been sai gang... but not really alot to do also lar... settled uniforms, preparing the office and clearing up the place... the living conditions were better than what i expected and it's betta than the bunks back in 3 tpt, even though this place was built in 1972... kindda ghostly at night, with all the abandoned classrooms... we have a nice cozy classroom converted to a office plus bunk... there's great bathing facilities with hot water and yes!! no mosaic tiles!! well, the pool is really tempting to swim in but boo... we're not allowed to.. haha... the naval base is really really huge... it's as big as one jurong estate... crazy rite... went to heng chun and pao li camps to settle things too and it's like 2hr ride in the car... sat until my butt went numb... they used nissan sunny to fetch us there and their sunny is meant for big shots in taiwan navy to sit in one... so we're really fortunate to be able to take their gp car... well, the good thing about the sunny is that, there's no swd and they sped through the freeway at 120-130kph... hmm, the minibus also sped ard the same speed on the freeway too... kindda scary siting the minibus at that speed esp when it's conering... but we're still in one piece... anw, we're situated beside the dock... and it's really a great place to run... and clock mileage... ran everyday since i came here, shall run again later... i enjoyed the sea breeze n the sunset... marvellous to run with someone... well, as for touring... we're at zuo ying which is 30mins north of kaoshiung... but it's located at the south eastern tip of taiwan... hmm, took train to kaoshiung last nite for dinner... it's quite happening, much bigger and complicated... took some ect shots again... shall upload when i have the oppo to do so... darn.. the net in this net cafe doesn't support usb... well, the train sys here is like our mrt except the stations are more lok kok... but then it's more vibrant than spore... the steak house which we ate at was marvellous... 220nt = S$13 for a rib eye steak set meal... the desert and appetizer is free flow buffet style too... this place can trash any steak house back home... haha... oh yah, btw the pool centre at the mess over here is really cheap too... 200nt for 3hrs for a 9 inch table which is about S$12 likedat... well, my s4 went to chiong last nite at some pub to ying chou the other officers... and she'll bring us along one of these days... but i guess, i would love to visit more interesting places like the nature parks and spas... haha, the rest of the ppl will be sailing off sea tmr and won't be back till fri.. that means we're free from 'haressment' until they come back and we're free... hopefully we can get to go out.. haha... okie ppl, more updates coming up in a few days time...
btw, i still haven't gotten any sim card to call back... sigh... if there's any emergency, u can call 886-07-581-0853... but u gotta pay idd charges... haha... take care ppl, i'll be touching down at changi on 24 apr 0310hrs... haha...
Saturday, April 02, 2005
bye nissan... i'm toyota... dream bmw...
goodbye nissan... hello toyota... should i say hi to nissan again? just drove my uncle's new nissan latio, it's really kindda cool, like renault meagane, with all the auto functions... keyless ignition, auto light sensor and so on... the touch was quite good... haha, but i guess it's easier to whack my vios, cuz it feels like a toy car...
no more nissan, i'm already part of the toyota family... well, maybe i should aspire to be part of the bmw family... like what i've mentioned before... toyota can't be compared to bmw... but it'll only be a dream, maybe an unrealistic one... singtel friends, pls lemme drive ur 645ci if anyone of u wins it... considered mazda too... though nice, but the engine isn't that good... oh well, i think toyota is still the more practical choice... stable... fuel consumption low... less complicated...
no more nissan, i'm already part of the toyota family... well, maybe i should aspire to be part of the bmw family... like what i've mentioned before... toyota can't be compared to bmw... but it'll only be a dream, maybe an unrealistic one... singtel friends, pls lemme drive ur 645ci if anyone of u wins it... considered mazda too... though nice, but the engine isn't that good... oh well, i think toyota is still the more practical choice... stable... fuel consumption low... less complicated...
Saturday, March 26, 2005
prezzies...
what a great way to wake up...
i hung my "flutterby" aka butterfly on my window grill to that i can have the "flutterby" fluttering ard when i wake up... hehe...
munch... munch... munch...
well, thank you everyone for remembering my birthday... hehe... some preview of my prezzies so far...
a bmw z4... flutterby... message in a "test-tube"... thanx e...
a card that flew all the way from UK... thanx adel... it was really a pleasant surprise...
crystal shelled xbox... well, i guess my home isn't that boring now with the xbox... it used to be boring cuz the main activities at my home would be cooking, watching movies, playing 1980 games and listening of deejay ect playing his oldies... yay, more ppl can camp at my place liao... but i've got only 3 games so far... counterstrike, winning eleven and top spin... shall buy more games in the near future... battlefield 2, and prolly some racing games...
happy birthday to me...
sigh... ect is old... ect is 20 years old... one more year before i'm "officially" an adult... well, i guess being older, there'll be certainly more responsibilities and more decisions to make on my own... haha, as for now... i shall remain ect and young at heart... look at my pics, and u can tell that i still 长不大... haha... well, like it or not... not that i'm immature, but it's me that i wanna be ect and play with soft toys... hmm, it seems kindda scary that i may get married soon... the earliest... 6 years time... GOSH?! getting married in 6 years time?? i can't fathom that... 6 years ago, i was only sec2 and time just seemed to have zoomed past... and very soon i'll be 26!!! maybe i'm thinking too far... but it isn't that far away too... but i know for sure, that i'm not prepared for a marriage at the moment...
god only provide seeds...
pastor tang zhen xiong's sermons are great... they remind us of what is the essence of being a christian... he questions and challenges our faith... friday's easter sermon was quite interesting... he talked about the 3 types of laziness in humans, esp christians, who like to not do anything and pray for a miracle to happ...
laze 1 :: unknown laze
being to caught up with your own life, blaming everyone else, blaming god but yourself for your own mishaps...
laze 2 :: the one day syndrome
one day, i will be successful... one day, i'll grow closer to god... one day, i'll love my parents and friends more... one day, god will provide the neccesary grace for me... one day... one day... but in the end, nothing gets done...
laze 3 :: the minor laze
majority of the ppl belongs to this category... taking care of everything very well, except a certain aspect of your life...
well, he finished the sermon with quite an interesting story...
one day, a little gal went to a fruit shop owned by god... she saw the fruits on the shelves which were so beautiful... she asked god if she could have them and god replied "yes"... she asked if she could help her parents and siblings to get them too and god replied "yes"... so she was very happy, while god went to prepare what she wanted... when god came back and gave her what she wanted, she was shocked to see that there weren't any fruits but only seeds... and god said...
"my dear, i'll provide you with the seeds, you have to grow them into fruits yourself..."
laze 1 :: unknown laze
being to caught up with your own life, blaming everyone else, blaming god but yourself for your own mishaps...
laze 2 :: the one day syndrome
one day, i will be successful... one day, i'll grow closer to god... one day, i'll love my parents and friends more... one day, god will provide the neccesary grace for me... one day... one day... but in the end, nothing gets done...
laze 3 :: the minor laze
majority of the ppl belongs to this category... taking care of everything very well, except a certain aspect of your life...
well, he finished the sermon with quite an interesting story...
one day, a little gal went to a fruit shop owned by god... she saw the fruits on the shelves which were so beautiful... she asked god if she could have them and god replied "yes"... she asked if she could help her parents and siblings to get them too and god replied "yes"... so she was very happy, while god went to prepare what she wanted... when god came back and gave her what she wanted, she was shocked to see that there weren't any fruits but only seeds... and god said...
"my dear, i'll provide you with the seeds, you have to grow them into fruits yourself..."
s1...
i think i should be an s1... on wed, we were preparing for mea site visit on thurs morn... and ms chong, my new s1 was asking for the various tabulation of results and she wanted to know how we arrived at it and the justification... and apparently, all, i really mean ALL of the things (leap, idap, community hrs, blood donation, comm chest, learning hours, courses and so on...) she asked me, i answered her... my sudden revelation... i've been actually doing most of my previous s1, trini's work... in addition to that, i'm doing my own work with big projects like the taiwan trip and ofe... and jianwei is going to ord soon... this coming monday is the handing and taking over session... shucks... cannot le... it's gonna be super stressful, monitoring all these stuff... jialat man... i think i should pass the work back to ms chong... hopefully... actually, from what i see, i think the job of an s1 isn't that difficult, since i'm already experiencing it... u dun need a uni grad to do the job... seriously... well, it's always good to know everything... but i'll die of stress...
Monday, March 21, 2005
running...
quite a nice day...
went to semb camp for 5bx coupled with a run ard the camp... refreshing... good sleep on s4's new sunny... refreshed while working back in office... but still bz... wished that i can run and train in the morning and start work in the aftnoon... dream on...
well, the new atc batch is a mono intake... very different from the usual jc poly intake... sianz... i think weejin is gonna have a tough time handling them... but we shouldn't generalise so fast... however, according to results 4 years ago, the last time when atc had a mono batch, the drop out rate from the courses is 50%... oh well, i hope everything goes well...
btw, there was SAFSA SOCCER player posted to us as rigger and he has training 3 times a week... our unit is a very shiong unit so such training commitments will not be tolertated... guess what when oc atc sufaced the prob to cpc....
CPC POSTED HIM OUT IMMEDIATELY CUZ OF HIS HIGH TRAINING COMMITMENTS!!!
CPC PLEASE POST ME OUT NOW!!!
I BELONG TO SAFSA TRACK!!!
I WANNA TRAIN!!!
well, logistics meet is coming up... yay, it's really just nice 26th apr, just aft i come back from roc... i'm thinking of what events to take...
long jump - confirmed
triple, 200m, 400 hurdles, 800m - considering
4x400 - must (cuz there's shafiq and alex... should be a strong team)
good... i hope there'll be time to train in roc...
went to semb camp for 5bx coupled with a run ard the camp... refreshing... good sleep on s4's new sunny... refreshed while working back in office... but still bz... wished that i can run and train in the morning and start work in the aftnoon... dream on...
well, the new atc batch is a mono intake... very different from the usual jc poly intake... sianz... i think weejin is gonna have a tough time handling them... but we shouldn't generalise so fast... however, according to results 4 years ago, the last time when atc had a mono batch, the drop out rate from the courses is 50%... oh well, i hope everything goes well...
btw, there was SAFSA SOCCER player posted to us as rigger and he has training 3 times a week... our unit is a very shiong unit so such training commitments will not be tolertated... guess what when oc atc sufaced the prob to cpc....
CPC POSTED HIM OUT IMMEDIATELY CUZ OF HIS HIGH TRAINING COMMITMENTS!!!
CPC PLEASE POST ME OUT NOW!!!
I BELONG TO SAFSA TRACK!!!
I WANNA TRAIN!!!
well, logistics meet is coming up... yay, it's really just nice 26th apr, just aft i come back from roc... i'm thinking of what events to take...
long jump - confirmed
triple, 200m, 400 hurdles, 800m - considering
4x400 - must (cuz there's shafiq and alex... should be a strong team)
good... i hope there'll be time to train in roc...
Friday, March 18, 2005
feeling ill again... i've got a feeling that i can somehow control my fever without taking med anymore... but i guess it's not fever now... it's just a weak feeling, fatigue... mental, physical, emotional... i'm zapped... i need a rest... really a rest... i dunno how long the rest will be... but i really need it...
童话
a nice new song by guang liang...
忘了有多久 再没听到你对我说你最爱的故事
我想了很久 我开始慌了 是不是我又做错了什么
你哭着对我说 童话里都是骗人的 我不可能是你的王子
也许你不会懂 从你说爱我以后 我的天空 星星都亮了
我愿变成童话里 你爱的那个天使 张开双手变成翅膀守护你
你要相信 相信我们会像童话故事里 幸福和快乐是结局
我要变成童话里 你爱的那个天使 张开双手变成翅膀守护你
你要相信 相信我们会像童话故事里 幸福和快乐是结局
我会变成童话里 你爱的那个天使 张开双手变成翅膀守护你
你要相信 相信我们会像童话故事里 幸福和快乐是结局
一起写我们的结局
忘了有多久 再没听到你对我说你最爱的故事
我想了很久 我开始慌了 是不是我又做错了什么
你哭着对我说 童话里都是骗人的 我不可能是你的王子
也许你不会懂 从你说爱我以后 我的天空 星星都亮了
我愿变成童话里 你爱的那个天使 张开双手变成翅膀守护你
你要相信 相信我们会像童话故事里 幸福和快乐是结局
我要变成童话里 你爱的那个天使 张开双手变成翅膀守护你
你要相信 相信我们会像童话故事里 幸福和快乐是结局
我会变成童话里 你爱的那个天使 张开双手变成翅膀守护你
你要相信 相信我们会像童话故事里 幸福和快乐是结局
一起写我们的结局
Thursday, March 17, 2005
scream my lungs out...
you've done it before, u can do it again...
nothing will impede you...
you will also not be alone...
but why do u still feel alone...
the nightmares will be over...
but when...
how long more can u hold on...
what is truth?
if 10 out of 10 ppl tell you the same thing, will u take it to be the absolute truth? or will u deny the truth? i would go for the truth... no more arbitary imagination...
anw, london community gospel choir was really great... 26 bucks for a solid whopping 3hrs performance... felt like a church service praise and worship too... it was engaging with the involvement of audience... we sang, harmonised to amazing grace and danced to the music... thankfully it wasn't like a trance like some churches, but then again, there were some overly zealous ppl, who nearly went bezerk... well, on the whole, it's great... i give it 2 thumbs up...
nothing will impede you...
you will also not be alone...
but why do u still feel alone...
the nightmares will be over...
but when...
how long more can u hold on...
what is truth?
if 10 out of 10 ppl tell you the same thing, will u take it to be the absolute truth? or will u deny the truth? i would go for the truth... no more arbitary imagination...
anw, london community gospel choir was really great... 26 bucks for a solid whopping 3hrs performance... felt like a church service praise and worship too... it was engaging with the involvement of audience... we sang, harmonised to amazing grace and danced to the music... thankfully it wasn't like a trance like some churches, but then again, there were some overly zealous ppl, who nearly went bezerk... well, on the whole, it's great... i give it 2 thumbs up...
Saturday, March 12, 2005
the next lap...
just thought that everything was over, stage two of the admin prep is here... another bz round of scrambling for info, photos, presentations, and very tight deadlines to meet with loads of other events and misc work to do...
having a fever now... the effect of overtaxing your body... training and working at the same time with minimal rest... i'll prolly get a few days of mc, but its really not the time to take any mc... things will start screwing up big time... and i dun wanna take too much med, cuz it'll send all my trainings back to square one...
having a fever now... the effect of overtaxing your body... training and working at the same time with minimal rest... i'll prolly get a few days of mc, but its really not the time to take any mc... things will start screwing up big time... and i dun wanna take too much med, cuz it'll send all my trainings back to square one...
Thursday, March 10, 2005
The Prayer of St. Francis
Lord, make me a channel of thy peace,
that where there is hatred, I may bring love;
that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness;
that where there is discord, I may bring harmony;
that where there is error, I may bring truth;
that where there is doubt, I may bring faith;
that where there is despair, I may bring hope;
that where there are shadows, I may bring light;
that where there is sadness, I may bring joy.
Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted;
to understand, than to be understood;
to love, than to be loved.
For it is by self-forgetting that one finds.
It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.
It is by dying that one awakens to Eternal Life.
that where there is hatred, I may bring love;
that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness;
that where there is discord, I may bring harmony;
that where there is error, I may bring truth;
that where there is doubt, I may bring faith;
that where there is despair, I may bring hope;
that where there are shadows, I may bring light;
that where there is sadness, I may bring joy.
Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted;
to understand, than to be understood;
to love, than to be loved.
For it is by self-forgetting that one finds.
It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.
It is by dying that one awakens to Eternal Life.
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
i'm finally home early for the 1st time after dunno how many donkey years... went mindef for despatch with s4... had lunch with her at causeway pt and went to semb camp for some lame ofe cert presentation and came back... FINALLY... i get to have some rest... my long awaited rest... *yawnz* i'm really tired... still haven't recover from the sleep deficit last week...
hmm, it was great talking to s4... she's prolly the only person in my unit who can ustnd an athlete's pt of view... well, she was also aiming for sea games for dragon boat but thanks to the bz schedule, training plans have screwed up... well, it's the same for me... thought that i could apply for time off for training but now?? it's not possible anymore... well, told her that i'll be bringing my spikes to train over in taiwan... well, the probs that plagued saaa are also clear and present in the other NSAs too... well, she was really upset back in 03 when they called off the sending of the dragonboat team to vietnam... reason?? politics... and blah blah blah... well, it was great talking to her cuz she's prolly the only one in camp with the same freq on sports as me... hmm, we were discussing whether taking the specialist path is better... cuz being a degree holder among the WOSEs is like a gem while being a degree holder among the officer corps, is like a small fry, compared to the pres scholars... i guess, maybe it's betta to be a degree holder and be a spec cuz the chances of promotion is much higher...
listened to yoko ono's french album on my train ride home, good way to chill out... but couldn't help but feel alone... kindda lost when there's nothing to do... but it isn't good too when there's too many things to do... i shall slack today and not do anything much... wanted to train actualy, but i'm kindda lazy now...
it's coming soon... 8 apr... i really can't wait to go taiwan and enjoy myself there... maybe i should go hk too in june and shing kit can bring us ard...
as for now... i wanna sleep...
hmm, it was great talking to s4... she's prolly the only person in my unit who can ustnd an athlete's pt of view... well, she was also aiming for sea games for dragon boat but thanks to the bz schedule, training plans have screwed up... well, it's the same for me... thought that i could apply for time off for training but now?? it's not possible anymore... well, told her that i'll be bringing my spikes to train over in taiwan... well, the probs that plagued saaa are also clear and present in the other NSAs too... well, she was really upset back in 03 when they called off the sending of the dragonboat team to vietnam... reason?? politics... and blah blah blah... well, it was great talking to her cuz she's prolly the only one in camp with the same freq on sports as me... hmm, we were discussing whether taking the specialist path is better... cuz being a degree holder among the WOSEs is like a gem while being a degree holder among the officer corps, is like a small fry, compared to the pres scholars... i guess, maybe it's betta to be a degree holder and be a spec cuz the chances of promotion is much higher...
listened to yoko ono's french album on my train ride home, good way to chill out... but couldn't help but feel alone... kindda lost when there's nothing to do... but it isn't good too when there's too many things to do... i shall slack today and not do anything much... wanted to train actualy, but i'm kindda lazy now...
it's coming soon... 8 apr... i really can't wait to go taiwan and enjoy myself there... maybe i should go hk too in june and shing kit can bring us ard...
as for now... i wanna sleep...
Saturday, March 05, 2005
i broke a new record...
i just broke a new record today... *applause* my total working hours for these 5 days, 72hrs!!! that's like on par with theodric's houseman year sai gang in the hospital... and guess what time i left office?
05 mar 2005, 130am... wow, what a refreshing record...
well, thank you chief clerk, skyes, sheldon, kamal and devan for staying back together with me to complete the nominal rolls, pasting of photos, writing of fan ti chinese names... i really appreciate you guys for staying back... it makes me feel that my past few days of hard work has been worth it... well, at least it's 90% completed... some fine tuning to be done on mon before submission...
i'm tired...
well, if anyone insist that clerks are SLACK (no stay in, no guard duty, knock at 530 sharp)... he or she is absolutely wrong... it's sux okie (we stay in, we have guard duty and we only fall out at 630 on avg)... it totally sux to be doing all these sai gang... fortunately, i have my branch ppl to help... if it's not because of some garang "terror"'s altruism of volunteering to take up this sai gang, we would have enjoyed the amazing race today too... well, it seems that my branch ppl are kindda isolated from the rest of the unit cuz we miss lotsa unit level cohesion activities... come on man... it's not that we don't want to join, but we're just piled with sai gang to do... if we don't do, we get blamed, if we do, we'll also be marked for not attending the activities... this is super sai lar...
五马分尸 is prolly the 成语 to potray the qualities of an ideal clerk... i know wat is expected of us, to be able to attend all activities, to be happy, to be able to finish all the work with top quality... seriously i have to admit that, i was and i still am quite a perfectionist person, but i won't wanna sacrifice my "life" for some absurd altrusitic ideals of the "terror"... sometimes i will question myself... am i being too selfish by not wanting to sacrifice some of my time as part of my national service? but hello... this week's 70 hr work week example is a case in point that i'm way over working (standard working hrs is 42hrs)... it wasn't even like that back in ocs, though there were tough outfield training and tekan sessions, but doing so much sai gang simply sux... it is also different from studying... i think we're CRAZY... when we describe the work env and amount of work we have to do, it simply scares ppl off... i dun mind this 70 hr week for special events like this and the tsunami crisis... but it's going to carry on throughout the rest of this year, given the workplan and ppl in power...
i'm getting depressed... it's very evident that within the 7mths in this unit, i have witnessed a drastic drop in the env here... it's getting depressing day by day... ppl saboing each other... power hungry terrors, terrorising and insults ppl with crisp and cutting diplomatic remarks... these full blown insults haven't reached me yet, but soon... the day when i talk back to an officer bluntly, will be the day i'm totally pissed off... this is a very uncertain place, u'll never know what will happen any moment... i'm sick of this place...
my s1 is leaving and the new s1 may be another manifestation of the terror cuz they are good friends of similar backgrounds and freq... the only person to protect us will be chief, but even then, we'll be kindda helpless... i'll soon be the most senior clerk there and it's my duty and responsibility to fend off terrors, but please pray for me that i'll have the wisdom to know how to handle them...
depressed...
05 mar 2005, 130am... wow, what a refreshing record...
well, thank you chief clerk, skyes, sheldon, kamal and devan for staying back together with me to complete the nominal rolls, pasting of photos, writing of fan ti chinese names... i really appreciate you guys for staying back... it makes me feel that my past few days of hard work has been worth it... well, at least it's 90% completed... some fine tuning to be done on mon before submission...
i'm tired...
well, if anyone insist that clerks are SLACK (no stay in, no guard duty, knock at 530 sharp)... he or she is absolutely wrong... it's sux okie (we stay in, we have guard duty and we only fall out at 630 on avg)... it totally sux to be doing all these sai gang... fortunately, i have my branch ppl to help... if it's not because of some garang "terror"'s altruism of volunteering to take up this sai gang, we would have enjoyed the amazing race today too... well, it seems that my branch ppl are kindda isolated from the rest of the unit cuz we miss lotsa unit level cohesion activities... come on man... it's not that we don't want to join, but we're just piled with sai gang to do... if we don't do, we get blamed, if we do, we'll also be marked for not attending the activities... this is super sai lar...
五马分尸 is prolly the 成语 to potray the qualities of an ideal clerk... i know wat is expected of us, to be able to attend all activities, to be happy, to be able to finish all the work with top quality... seriously i have to admit that, i was and i still am quite a perfectionist person, but i won't wanna sacrifice my "life" for some absurd altrusitic ideals of the "terror"... sometimes i will question myself... am i being too selfish by not wanting to sacrifice some of my time as part of my national service? but hello... this week's 70 hr work week example is a case in point that i'm way over working (standard working hrs is 42hrs)... it wasn't even like that back in ocs, though there were tough outfield training and tekan sessions, but doing so much sai gang simply sux... it is also different from studying... i think we're CRAZY... when we describe the work env and amount of work we have to do, it simply scares ppl off... i dun mind this 70 hr week for special events like this and the tsunami crisis... but it's going to carry on throughout the rest of this year, given the workplan and ppl in power...
i'm getting depressed... it's very evident that within the 7mths in this unit, i have witnessed a drastic drop in the env here... it's getting depressing day by day... ppl saboing each other... power hungry terrors, terrorising and insults ppl with crisp and cutting diplomatic remarks... these full blown insults haven't reached me yet, but soon... the day when i talk back to an officer bluntly, will be the day i'm totally pissed off... this is a very uncertain place, u'll never know what will happen any moment... i'm sick of this place...
my s1 is leaving and the new s1 may be another manifestation of the terror cuz they are good friends of similar backgrounds and freq... the only person to protect us will be chief, but even then, we'll be kindda helpless... i'll soon be the most senior clerk there and it's my duty and responsibility to fend off terrors, but please pray for me that i'll have the wisdom to know how to handle them...
depressed...
Friday, March 04, 2005
18 hours of clerical work...
the time is 402am and the date is 4 mar 05... today has been the longest work day i ever had in my entire army life... i've been working since 8am, 3 mar 05, clocking a total working time of 18 hours, excluding lunch and dinner... i think i'm the craziest clerk ard currently, but seriously i'm doing this cuz i dun wanna come back on sat to finish up this flight admin which has to be submitted on mon... i will make sure it'll all be done by 6pm today... no burning of fri and weekend... my colleagues shall do the sai gang (tagging and pasting photos, zapping nominal rolls, cutting papers, calling up ppl) for me tmr, while i refine the admin stuff...
reached camp at 730am, had lunch from 12-1pm, left camp at 11pm, had dinner from 1130pm to 12am and cont work at home... stopped work at 345am...
*yawnz* i'm going to sleep now... gotta be back in camp at 730am...
the tough time will be over soon... just gotta bear with it...
reached camp at 730am, had lunch from 12-1pm, left camp at 11pm, had dinner from 1130pm to 12am and cont work at home... stopped work at 345am...
*yawnz* i'm going to sleep now... gotta be back in camp at 730am...
the tough time will be over soon... just gotta bear with it...
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
calvin will not let ppl down...
haha, my foot... this is bad... being paid only $2.30 per hour and there is no OT pay for working late... haiz, this week is and will be kindda shiong... preparing stuff for taiwan exercise which has to be submitted by 7mar... spent my whole night typing FAN TI chinese characters in office... only left office at 2300hrs!!! well, i can't do my main work during office hours cuz there's just too much ad-hog things to settle... everything is coming in at the same time, it's becoming a mad house... sercurity check, charges, detention, monthly reports... and dunno wat's next... screwed up policies... inexplicable stress and tension... i really feel that i'm in 无间道... it has become a scary place to work it though it doesn't seem scary on the surface... still water runs deep...
oh well, gotta sleep now... tmr still gotta get to work at 7.20am... nitez ppl....
oh well, gotta sleep now... tmr still gotta get to work at 7.20am... nitez ppl....
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
the athletes genes...
just read an article today... aaron huang may be making a come back soon... he broke the national long jump record unofficially last dec in aust with a jump of 7.36m, futhering the old one by 2cm... he was previously a sprinter who held the a div 100m rec for a year or two before seng song broke it... it was quite a tremendous change for him to jumps... but i guess it's quite easy for sprinters to convert to jumpers if they have the speed... but i feel that aaron is capable of jumping much further with a 100m timing of 10.84s... well, maybe shyam should consider long jump too... well, seems that singapore's athletics scene is slowly picking up... i should set my targets too, practical ones though... 7 is quite practical if i have the time and will to train, but given that i'm still stuck with work now and studies next year and the lack of ppl to train and achieve for, it may be a prob though... height isn't a prob at all i guess... c kunalan is only 1.68m and aaron is only 1.70m... if they can do it, it really proves that height isn't really the greatest limiting factor... rather it's the individual talent and attitude especially...
hmm, i realised that my cousin and i share similarities when i was young... he's only p1 but he likes to run and jump alot, and i really mean alot alot alot... it's an indication of his potential... maybe it's time to add another jumper or sprinter into my family, then we'll have a family of athletes... my dad, wei zhen, me are sprinter, mid d, jumper respectively... theody, kenneth are tt paddlers, while benedict is a swimmer... sigh, but i guess it's hard for us to make to the national level... it's quite impossible for theody to be part of the nat team, cuz of the strong monopoly of jiawei, peifen and the rest... well, i hope this athletic genes can carry on to the next generation and hopefully they will be even better than us...
hmm, i realised that my cousin and i share similarities when i was young... he's only p1 but he likes to run and jump alot, and i really mean alot alot alot... it's an indication of his potential... maybe it's time to add another jumper or sprinter into my family, then we'll have a family of athletes... my dad, wei zhen, me are sprinter, mid d, jumper respectively... theody, kenneth are tt paddlers, while benedict is a swimmer... sigh, but i guess it's hard for us to make to the national level... it's quite impossible for theody to be part of the nat team, cuz of the strong monopoly of jiawei, peifen and the rest... well, i hope this athletic genes can carry on to the next generation and hopefully they will be even better than us...
pride camp...
i just went for army pride camp for the last 2 days at sentosa, org by focus adventure group... it was a camp for wits leader and activist... for those who do not know wat pride or wits are, well wits stands for work improvement teams... and the pride movement is a movement for the saf to come out with improvement projects to make the saf more efficient... anyway, i signed up for this camp last dec and it was supp to be held on 1,2 feb but it got postponed to 22-23 feb... wat a time to attend the camp with so much work and incidents happening back in office... couldn't fully enjoy the camp with the thought of work in my mind... felt kindda paiseh for my colleagues to be slogging while i'm having this camp here in sentosa... but all in all the camp was fun... day one was quite stone cuz we're still getting to know each other... we had adventure type of games, similar to obs... things like transporting ppl through a tight ropes, balancing beam, spider web and high elements with all the belaying stuff... the second day was split into 2 parts, it was rafting in the morn and amazing race in the afternoon... well, the rafting constuction wasn't very easy... at first i thought i should be kindda easy cuz i did it in ocs for leadership fieldcamp... but i was the leader and i had to be separated from the group and can only liase with them through comms... there were 4 teams in total... and there was conjestion in the station, but luckily we switched to a separate station... kindda interesting to comms them to build the raft, instructions had to be clear, with lotsa coordination... in the end we had to combine the stucture with other groups and sail to another island... the afternoon was spent running ard to find check points... but we splitted up and shared info with the other groups to complete all the objectives... well, i think the most impt takeaway for the camp was the need for cooperation, cuz we cooperated with all the teams for every single game... this is prolly the 1st non-competitive competitive camp i had... cuz everyone altrustically cooperated...
well, back to work again tmr...
well, back to work again tmr...
Monday, February 21, 2005
it's all about the man next to you...
after watching black hawk down the second time since 2002, i could appreciate the story and actions better... it's another sad event in US's history of miscalculated involvement in world events... there are some interesting scenes and quote to take note of... (p.s quotes are not 100% accurate...)
the rebel with the pilot captive...
"you think just by capturing our leader, we will put our guns down? no... we will continue fighting... there is no peace if there's no victory..."
"you think we will just embrace the american democracy?"
josh hartnett...
"someone asked me why i joined this war... why fight someone else's war? you think your heros? i repied 'it's not about being heros but it just somehow turns out that way...' "
courage was displayed through scenes like the loading of m203 in 5 secs while the rebels were loading their gpmg... strength was displayed when the rescue team fought the rebels till the last round... hope was displayed at the death bed of the guy whose pelvis was punctured with a 7.62mm round when he wanted his parents to be proud of his courage and strength... love was displayed when the pilot was beaten up and all he fought for was the picture of his wife and his son...
somehow after being in the army, the realism of ops is really fearful, esp the first engagement... i hope i won't ever be engaged... the question at the end of the day will still be "what are we fighting for?"
"it's all about the man next to you..."
the rebel with the pilot captive...
"you think just by capturing our leader, we will put our guns down? no... we will continue fighting... there is no peace if there's no victory..."
"you think we will just embrace the american democracy?"
josh hartnett...
"someone asked me why i joined this war... why fight someone else's war? you think your heros? i repied 'it's not about being heros but it just somehow turns out that way...' "
courage was displayed through scenes like the loading of m203 in 5 secs while the rebels were loading their gpmg... strength was displayed when the rescue team fought the rebels till the last round... hope was displayed at the death bed of the guy whose pelvis was punctured with a 7.62mm round when he wanted his parents to be proud of his courage and strength... love was displayed when the pilot was beaten up and all he fought for was the picture of his wife and his son...
somehow after being in the army, the realism of ops is really fearful, esp the first engagement... i hope i won't ever be engaged... the question at the end of the day will still be "what are we fighting for?"
"it's all about the man next to you..."
Sunday, February 20, 2005
Saturday, February 19, 2005
i'm part of the eighties 80s...
i belong to the 80s... 80s songs, 80s design, 80s environment... though i only spend 5 year of my life in the 80s but i feel alot for the 80s... who can remember 最后一个大侠's purple killer? who can remember 迷离夜's stories? wat about 小虎队's 红蜻蜓? or 邓妙华's 温柔的夜?i guess not many will remember these shows or songs... but these shows and songs strike a deep chord in my heart... it was certainly a good investment in buying the 93.3 精选 for 83-92 songs... most of the songs are fabulous...
simple, earnest, humble, innocent, that's the trademark of songs in the 80s...
80s is where i belong...
simple, earnest, humble, innocent, that's the trademark of songs in the 80s...
80s is where i belong...
why am i talking to a bunch of uninspired and sianz ppl? i'm feeling down again... maybe it's the time of the month again... (oopz...) haiz, why get involved with so many things? i'm capable of handling them but somehow i dun feel like handling... maybe i'm getting jaded... i dread going to the office though i try to make myself feel purposeful... XGS will be quite a good learning experience, and the taiwan trip will prolly be a good breather from singapore...
it's hard to give up something which it has been part of you for so long, even though it's slowly fading away... 我和我追逐的梦... my legs will carry me on but there's no clear purpose to train, no more nationals, no more team look forward to... shattered dreams... i hope the day when i give up the idea of running n jumping will never come...
shucks, stop putting up a strong front...
it's hard to give up something which it has been part of you for so long, even though it's slowly fading away... 我和我追逐的梦... my legs will carry me on but there's no clear purpose to train, no more nationals, no more team look forward to... shattered dreams... i hope the day when i give up the idea of running n jumping will never come...
shucks, stop putting up a strong front...
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
you raise me up...
happy lunar new year everyone... just had a very peaceful dream last night... here's a song to thank everyone who has been there for me... to greyscale for putting this song in a diff light... to the one who played this song for me in the middle of the night when i was really down...
----------------------------------------------
When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up… To more than I can be.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up… To more than I can be.
There is no life – no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.
----------------------------------------------
When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up… To more than I can be.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up… To more than I can be.
There is no life – no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.
Saturday, February 05, 2005
the ikea green snake is back!!!
had dim sum breakfast at red star restaurant... it was very, but dim sum is suppose to make u full very fast and get hungry very fast too... well, if u wanna know where the restaurant is, it's at blk 54, chin swee road, level 7 (near supreme court)... oh well, sway sway saw co there with his family... after bfast, we went to chinatown to shop... tried to buy bah kwa from lin zhi yuan, but too bad, we were alittle late... but had some fun shopping ard chinatown though... bought some pillow and covers for my room... couldn't find any suitable clothes... well, i want the british india style ones, but they cost like 100+ for a top... anyway, my retail expedition carried on in ikea... spent 177 bucks at ikea on refurnishing my room... haha, the green snake is finally back and i bought it!!! and it's only $14.90, much cheaper as compared to it's price of $29.90 back in 1997...
p.s: my night stamina is getting worse... i'm really afraid of falling asleep on the expressway...
p.s: my night stamina is getting worse... i'm really afraid of falling asleep on the expressway...
Thursday, February 03, 2005
paint my world
"The worst pain in the world is knowing that someone meant something to you but you meant nothing to that person. But, life goes on once you realize your own strength inside of you: the strength to realize that saying goodbye doesn't mean that you don't love the person anymore or that you don't want to keep them in your life. It doesn't mean you're weak. It means that you've the strength to let go and live your own life again."
- courtesy of mogu...
operation yellow afresh....
..............50% completed
duration......7 hours......
- courtesy of mogu...
operation yellow afresh....
..............50% completed
duration......7 hours......
Monday, January 31, 2005
lousy me..
my legs are screwed... i can't even finish a simple sprints trg of (30m, 50m, 100m, 150m) x2... did 30x2, 50x2 and 100x2 and my legs were filled with lactic and felt super nausea... i still have lotsa trg to got thru to get back my fitness...
plan for feb - apr 2005
feb ::
cny and all the celebrations... blah blah blah...
mar ::
basic admin supvr course 3 weeks!!! with an exam... not sure if my chief clerk wants to change my course date though... but i'll be meeting jeffery and george if i'm going...
preping for some overseas exercise, which our 老大 garangly sub-contracted the project for us clerks to do!!! reason??? cuz we were the BEST admin unit during the humanitarian mission... though we only have 5 clerks, but we're kindda power... or maybe other units are lan4... but i guess our performance came with a price of working till 9pm on a few days and wrecking our brains... oh well, even though we perform well for the ops, 老大 also dun need to be so garang also wat... i know he wants to score points lar... but also dun need like dat too... siao lar...
i WANT my time off for training too...
apr ::
the real exercise in taiwan... haha, i may get the chance to go overseas!!! but then i also dun wanna go cuz there's logistic track meet, which i wanna be part of the team... there's alex teng, shafiq and some other crazy runners... our 4x400 will be power man... and there might be safsa selection too... coupled with all the allcomers and relays... i need the races to improve on my dist and timings... well, emil chow's concert is also on the 23 apr and if i do go taiwan, i can't watch the concert... sigh, i dun wanna miss it...
cny and all the celebrations... blah blah blah...
mar ::
basic admin supvr course 3 weeks!!! with an exam... not sure if my chief clerk wants to change my course date though... but i'll be meeting jeffery and george if i'm going...
preping for some overseas exercise, which our 老大 garangly sub-contracted the project for us clerks to do!!! reason??? cuz we were the BEST admin unit during the humanitarian mission... though we only have 5 clerks, but we're kindda power... or maybe other units are lan4... but i guess our performance came with a price of working till 9pm on a few days and wrecking our brains... oh well, even though we perform well for the ops, 老大 also dun need to be so garang also wat... i know he wants to score points lar... but also dun need like dat too... siao lar...
i WANT my time off for training too...
apr ::
the real exercise in taiwan... haha, i may get the chance to go overseas!!! but then i also dun wanna go cuz there's logistic track meet, which i wanna be part of the team... there's alex teng, shafiq and some other crazy runners... our 4x400 will be power man... and there might be safsa selection too... coupled with all the allcomers and relays... i need the races to improve on my dist and timings... well, emil chow's concert is also on the 23 apr and if i do go taiwan, i can't watch the concert... sigh, i dun wanna miss it...
arty indiany LIFE~
3 different ways to spend your evening...
#1 :: being arty
well, it was certainly cool!!! going to sam to see photogs and build blocks and be a city planner... building blocks was fun esp when it made no sense by isolating all the govt agencies on one small tiny island, building roads that lead to the sea, having tons of police stations ard a block of apartments... fortunately, ura didn't send me overseas, if not i'll really destroy singapore... *haikx* well, the photos by russel wong was fabulous... like the chinese 武侠 series alot, esp the zhang man yu photo... haha, thanx to E for the 'good' pose with andy lau too... well, i took photos of photos which was illegal though, but i promise i won;t do it again... haha...
#2 :: being indian
before i continue, lemme impress upon you a great indian fashion website!
Satya Paul
i'm like being infiltrated with indian culture everyday by kamal, my colleague... from fashion to music... well, so we somehow ventured into little india for dinner and finally settled our dinner in Annapoora restaurant (the one oppo mustafa).. boy, the food was great... prata sux now... NAAN!!! is my new craving... it's like a mix of prata and bread... it's really tasty when it's plain and tasty too when added with tandoori... paneer and mushroom masala are great tandooris... but i guess, i shall have NAAN as my staple food from now on... haha...
#3 :: LIFE
wat constitutes life? what is life? an obligation or a choice? i'll leave you guys to think bout it, i guess you can debate all you want but it will always be a lingering question even after watching the sea inside...
okie, that's all for a great sunday evening... coupled with a great sunday afternoon cleaning up st andrews home for the aged...
#1 :: being arty
well, it was certainly cool!!! going to sam to see photogs and build blocks and be a city planner... building blocks was fun esp when it made no sense by isolating all the govt agencies on one small tiny island, building roads that lead to the sea, having tons of police stations ard a block of apartments... fortunately, ura didn't send me overseas, if not i'll really destroy singapore... *haikx* well, the photos by russel wong was fabulous... like the chinese 武侠 series alot, esp the zhang man yu photo... haha, thanx to E for the 'good' pose with andy lau too... well, i took photos of photos which was illegal though, but i promise i won;t do it again... haha...
#2 :: being indian
before i continue, lemme impress upon you a great indian fashion website!
Satya Paul
i'm like being infiltrated with indian culture everyday by kamal, my colleague... from fashion to music... well, so we somehow ventured into little india for dinner and finally settled our dinner in Annapoora restaurant (the one oppo mustafa).. boy, the food was great... prata sux now... NAAN!!! is my new craving... it's like a mix of prata and bread... it's really tasty when it's plain and tasty too when added with tandoori... paneer and mushroom masala are great tandooris... but i guess, i shall have NAAN as my staple food from now on... haha...
#3 :: LIFE
wat constitutes life? what is life? an obligation or a choice? i'll leave you guys to think bout it, i guess you can debate all you want but it will always be a lingering question even after watching the sea inside...
okie, that's all for a great sunday evening... coupled with a great sunday afternoon cleaning up st andrews home for the aged...
Friday, January 28, 2005
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
yes SIR!
265 days have past... 55/04 occ has finally come to an end... sunday was the big day for them, that glamourous day which they have earned through all the tough training... had mixed feelings while watching the commissioning parade... i couldn't help but feel that i could have been there joining my friends... but then again i'm happy and proud at the same time that they have all comm... was really happy especially to see pf and fred... took some pics with them... well, pf has been a very nice buddy all these years and fred was a great buddy in tango... haha, pf nearly got the chance to speak to our pres but too bad our pres stopped and talk to the person just before pf... well, i guess last sun wrapped up a chapter of my army life... it's time to look ahead...
"you will bond like brothers, burn like jossticks..."
黑人牙膏 advert
pf and me
fred and me
the contingents
"you will bond like brothers, burn like jossticks..."
黑人牙膏 advert
pf and me
fred and me
the contingents
Friday, January 21, 2005
a happy day with mom and dad
going to sleep soon... my day started by waking up at 6... yay, it's like the 1st time i went jogging with my parents... haha, managed to get them to run with me!!! so i specially brought cam to take photos... we went to botanical gdns to jog... i was really happy to be jogging with them... happy happy... then we had bfast at food haven... it was kindda 温馨 cuz it's been quite long since i had a proper bfast with them... but sigh if only i had a sis... 4 is prolly the perfect number... aft bfast, i met up with the other brothers to play street soccer at chs (or rather hci)... it was great to be there again, let me immerse with great memories of this school and esp the track, where it moulded my stay in chs n hc... then i left for justin's place for our final prac b4 the dry run tmr noon at hc... then tried to shop with mmg and sean for cny clothes and shoes... saw this nautica and hush puppies slip-ons, both look appealing, dun really know which to buy... i'll prolly go get it soon together with my clothes, though i think i've lotsa clothes liao...
*yawn* i'm tired... zzzzzz... legs aching from running n soccer, but i'm happy!!! haha, shall embark on another bz day tmr... gotta wake up early for ms chan's trg at 8 at gombak then gotta rush to justin's place to get the keyboards and deliver them to hc for the dry run... haha, it can be quite enjoying to keep urself bz...
i'm going to bed... nitez everyone... okie, here are some pics today...
dad... mom... me...
a serene view of botanical gardens...
me and mom...
mom and dad...
ect as usual...
*yawn* i'm tired... zzzzzz... legs aching from running n soccer, but i'm happy!!! haha, shall embark on another bz day tmr... gotta wake up early for ms chan's trg at 8 at gombak then gotta rush to justin's place to get the keyboards and deliver them to hc for the dry run... haha, it can be quite enjoying to keep urself bz...
i'm going to bed... nitez everyone... okie, here are some pics today...
dad... mom... me...
a serene view of botanical gardens...
me and mom...
mom and dad...
ect as usual...
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
projects in hand
how's the design?
embarking on design projects now... mugging my dreamweaver mx book coupled with a few projects in hand... 1st up, namecard for mom's shop... next, which i'm currently doing, youth fellowship website... sianz diao, deadline by sat... *bish* gotta rush... oh my, gotta make time for training and play too...
wakeboarding photos
haha, shall blog bout wakeboarding... it was fun though i had sunburn... regretted not applying mich's sun block... though the driver wasn't really good but fortunately we got to board for slightly more that 2hrs... haha... well, here are some of the nice photos of our wakeboarding trip...
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
singapore dualthlon 2005
Dualthlon Information
anyone wanna join me for this dualthon on the 13 march? the race consist of a 10km run, 40km cycle, followed by a 5km run... i guess i won't able to do this as an individual event, too shiong liao... there's a team event consisting of a runner and a cyclist... both guys and gals are welcome, cuz there's a mixed relay...
honouring the best...
5 more days to the end of cadet life... well, i'm really proud of tango one man... 3 out of the 5 sword of honours are from my platoon... ning yan for infantry, huan min for arty and yanhe for armour... it's really an honour to know and have them as platoon mates for 2 months... even though i can't join them in celebration but i truly feel happy for their achievements and glad that they all have survived the 265 days ordeal...
kudos tango one...
kudos tango one...
Saturday, January 15, 2005
ELMO!!!
song of the day... ELMO SONG!!! ELMO IS SO CUTE!!! JUST LIKE MY DARLING AND LOVE OF MY LIFE......... EDNA!!!!!!!!!! EDNA!!!!!!!!!
Hope u'll like the song by this little red creature...
Hope u'll like the song by this little red creature...
i'm a thief
haha, i'm stealing songs!!! buahahahaha... those online song storage sites are good places to steal songs... hahahaha...
the changi i never knew
hehe, had a long bz but eventful and fun day today... went changi naval base to settle the admin stuff for the ngos and send the final detachment off on rss endeavour... too bad, i didn't stay long enough to see vivian or uncle teo... well, cnb is really nice, very serene and senic...i dun mind joining sean at his workplace, provided if there's not too much sai gang... sianz, tmr still gotta work at 7 but i'll be on time for wakeboarding...
Thursday, January 13, 2005
胆小鬼
胆小鬼 is my fave chinese song in 1998... this song marks the start of my (prolly many others too) sec 1 life... it's a simple and catchy song but yet so captivating... well, i guess 98 was a smooth year without worries, study, train... wow, 7 years has past... this song reminds me to weijin, cuz he kept playing it on the piano... haven't been in touch with him for a really long time though... it also reminds me of seniors, some of whom are getting married... i was toot, hardworking, bz earning my credit points, piaing hard for my work, trying to get straight a1s... haha, justin, yongbin, haojie n i formed an "alliance" in studying, to become the unbeatables... i will never forget the ect incidents of finding a used "rubber" on a table in the morn, ppl getting expelled for weird reasons... i can remember our dear 林老师 who gave lotsa 剪报s and compulsory picking of 相思豆s for punishments and my controversial exemption frm chi exams, which sparked off the "守株待兔" incident... come to think bout it, i dunno how i was so hardworking then to do work on the bus, like 剪报s, writing out the definitions of words from 词语手册 and writing the ans down on paper or doing maths on the bus... i would literaly do work (not read but write things) once i step up onto 157 or 174 and do work until i alight at boon lay... hmm, i guess maybe i should start doing the same now...
well, that was sec 1... 7 years ago...
well, that was sec 1... 7 years ago...
songs...
i will upload songs regularly, so that my blog will be like a juke box... please indicate on the tagboard wat songs u'll like to hear too... heeee :)
what's up for 2005?
haven't been blogging for quite sometime...
well, life has been really busy with all the admin stuff to prepare for the overseas mission... but nevertheless i had my load of fun in the process too... time past prolly the fastest today, worked continuously frm 8-6pm with only a lunch break... thankfully i didn't have to work overtime...
hmm, these 2 weeks have been passing by fast, haven't really got the chance to sit down and fully reflect on what i wanna do this year... but i guess here are some resolution which i hope to achieve...
things to learn:
1. basic french
2. flash mx
3. autocad
4. 3d studio max
things to finish so far:
1. youth fellowship website
2. aunt's website
3. mom's biz website
4. paint and rearrange my room
places to go:
1. tour ard sea / sea sports in bintan in june
2. tour in dec with the jiaobins while clearing leave
things to buy:
1. laptop
2. digi cam (prolly a zai one)
3. badminton / tennis racquet
4. bike (not really necessary though)
5. keyboard (yamaha s80 is great, justin has been psychoing us...)
things to achieve:
1. go sea games (erm, it's ultimately a dream only... provided if i can clear 7.2m)
2. serve happily and learn lots from pub comm
well, this is obviously an ambitous resolution for 2005... if i wanna achieve them all, i guess i dun really need to sleep liao... anw, i guess my biggest dream this year is to jump far far... really far... it's my life...
hmm, i've been trying to get myself away from work n relax by signing up for courses and workshops... haha, this is the benefit of getting quite alot of appointments (good sai gangs) as a clerk... though i gotta work more, but i get the opportunity to attend expensive and useful workshop... went to some sdu workshop where they taught how to look good, be presentable and i prolly will be going one on creating the 1st impression... it's quite helpful and good to waste time... went for some creative workshop and soon going for some creative camp for wits projects... well, these seminars are kindda ex... lemme see, i've prolly ripped more than 1k frm saf going for all the medical tests and specialists visits... and ripped bout 1k going for the courses too... well, these creative courses are not cheap commercially...
being a clerk is kindda good now though u need to do lotsa sai gangs... but u learn alot too... well, this humanitarian mission, my unit was tasked the oic for some of the detachments and though i wasn't in theatre, it was fulfilling doing the preparation and getting in touch with some interesting briefings and admin preparation that will only appear once in a lifetime...
well, that's so much for my updates on 2005... signing off... gotta prep my tuition stuff... sianz, why the agencies ask me to teach pri sch kids... hopefully i get more sec sch students... well, i guess i would like to teach history for term 2 of 2006 aft i ord... hopefully, i get to teach any of the ip schs... oh well, it's still quite a long way...
time to work hard... calvin will pia again...
well, life has been really busy with all the admin stuff to prepare for the overseas mission... but nevertheless i had my load of fun in the process too... time past prolly the fastest today, worked continuously frm 8-6pm with only a lunch break... thankfully i didn't have to work overtime...
hmm, these 2 weeks have been passing by fast, haven't really got the chance to sit down and fully reflect on what i wanna do this year... but i guess here are some resolution which i hope to achieve...
things to learn:
1. basic french
2. flash mx
3. autocad
4. 3d studio max
things to finish so far:
1. youth fellowship website
2. aunt's website
3. mom's biz website
4. paint and rearrange my room
places to go:
1. tour ard sea / sea sports in bintan in june
2. tour in dec with the jiaobins while clearing leave
things to buy:
1. laptop
2. digi cam (prolly a zai one)
3. badminton / tennis racquet
4. bike (not really necessary though)
5. keyboard (yamaha s80 is great, justin has been psychoing us...)
things to achieve:
1. go sea games (erm, it's ultimately a dream only... provided if i can clear 7.2m)
2. serve happily and learn lots from pub comm
well, this is obviously an ambitous resolution for 2005... if i wanna achieve them all, i guess i dun really need to sleep liao... anw, i guess my biggest dream this year is to jump far far... really far... it's my life...
hmm, i've been trying to get myself away from work n relax by signing up for courses and workshops... haha, this is the benefit of getting quite alot of appointments (good sai gangs) as a clerk... though i gotta work more, but i get the opportunity to attend expensive and useful workshop... went to some sdu workshop where they taught how to look good, be presentable and i prolly will be going one on creating the 1st impression... it's quite helpful and good to waste time... went for some creative workshop and soon going for some creative camp for wits projects... well, these seminars are kindda ex... lemme see, i've prolly ripped more than 1k frm saf going for all the medical tests and specialists visits... and ripped bout 1k going for the courses too... well, these creative courses are not cheap commercially...
being a clerk is kindda good now though u need to do lotsa sai gangs... but u learn alot too... well, this humanitarian mission, my unit was tasked the oic for some of the detachments and though i wasn't in theatre, it was fulfilling doing the preparation and getting in touch with some interesting briefings and admin preparation that will only appear once in a lifetime...
well, that's so much for my updates on 2005... signing off... gotta prep my tuition stuff... sianz, why the agencies ask me to teach pri sch kids... hopefully i get more sec sch students... well, i guess i would like to teach history for term 2 of 2006 aft i ord... hopefully, i get to teach any of the ip schs... oh well, it's still quite a long way...
time to work hard... calvin will pia again...
Saturday, January 01, 2005
05 DIVE!
welcome 05...
i dun think i'll be reflecting on 04 and listing my resolution so soon for 05... still feeling weird...
anw, "05 DIVE!" was kindda fun... it's been 5 years since we went jiaen's house for a poolside countdown... back then was "tam tam 2000"... gosh, time flies... it seemed yest when i was in that same pool 5 years ago... well, i guess we're all growing old... we didn't anything elaborate for the countdown, dinner, praise and worship, prayers for the tsunami victims... but the video presentation on 04 fellowship events was really hilarious... played bridge aft countdown, and as expected, i was the 1st one to knock off, too old to stay awake for so long... but i guess amidst the celebrations, i wasn't really happy or excited... u want to celebrate but it's just not right... it's really weird...
well, got a call from wong this morning that we're all on standby now... gotta pack my fieldpack and other misc items and be prepared to stay in from mon or get recalled any moment from 0000h 020105... gotta bring passport too, seems like i may get to go for the relief aid... time to ans to my call of duty...
04 has been a year of irony...
05?
i dun think i'll be reflecting on 04 and listing my resolution so soon for 05... still feeling weird...
anw, "05 DIVE!" was kindda fun... it's been 5 years since we went jiaen's house for a poolside countdown... back then was "tam tam 2000"... gosh, time flies... it seemed yest when i was in that same pool 5 years ago... well, i guess we're all growing old... we didn't anything elaborate for the countdown, dinner, praise and worship, prayers for the tsunami victims... but the video presentation on 04 fellowship events was really hilarious... played bridge aft countdown, and as expected, i was the 1st one to knock off, too old to stay awake for so long... but i guess amidst the celebrations, i wasn't really happy or excited... u want to celebrate but it's just not right... it's really weird...
well, got a call from wong this morning that we're all on standby now... gotta pack my fieldpack and other misc items and be prepared to stay in from mon or get recalled any moment from 0000h 020105... gotta bring passport too, seems like i may get to go for the relief aid... time to ans to my call of duty...
04 has been a year of irony...
05?
Thursday, December 30, 2004
pillar of confidence - 3 saf tpt bn...
there's so much to say.. too much... too much emotions to let out... too much ironies to face... how should i start... i'll talk bout 2004 soon...
but now, lemme say a few words bout the humanitarian mission... we all have this intrinsic human nature in us, which is love... the images of dead bodies and staggling victims are simply so real... it's so near, yet so far... it just feels so surreal... we have been too sheltered to get the real impact... that's why i wanna go for the mission, i believe sean and ron would agree with me that it's not just the participation, but rather it may change ur perspective towards life when u experience ground zero situation... i couldn't help it but felt very weird when i was preparing the nominal roll for those ppl who were activated from my unit... it felt suddenly for a moment that the things which i'm doing has a purpose, has a cause... it's no more wayang games, it's real! real time operation... well, bout 70% of my unit (although my unit is very small) has been activated for this humanitarian mission to indonesia and india... sigh, hq coy was also activiated too but it's only for combat fit ppl... some combat fit ppl didn't wanna go, i hope that it's poss for us to replace them... but on the other hand, there're also risk involve... threat of terrorist kidnapping us, chance of snapping after seeing so many dead bodies, the strike of another tsunami... *touchwood* i guess my parents would be very worried too... i was making phone calls to the next of kin of some of the stc guys, and most parents were kindda worried bout their sons... they kept asking qns like how long will the deployment be, wat are the dangers, will their son be infected with disease, where will they sleep or eat, and many other qns... well, i was trying to reassure them and telling them that they should be proud of their sons for being part of this charitable effort...
the feeling of the entire episode is slowy sinking into me as i occupied myself with the ops stuff today... i dun really feel sad but rather i feel useless... i guess the only and best thing i can do now is to offer my prayers... there some things that are unavoidable... maybe it's really revelation unfolding itself... the end is soon...
may the air, sea and amphibious guys have a safe trip... god bless...
"pillar of confidence" - 3 saf tpt bn
but now, lemme say a few words bout the humanitarian mission... we all have this intrinsic human nature in us, which is love... the images of dead bodies and staggling victims are simply so real... it's so near, yet so far... it just feels so surreal... we have been too sheltered to get the real impact... that's why i wanna go for the mission, i believe sean and ron would agree with me that it's not just the participation, but rather it may change ur perspective towards life when u experience ground zero situation... i couldn't help it but felt very weird when i was preparing the nominal roll for those ppl who were activated from my unit... it felt suddenly for a moment that the things which i'm doing has a purpose, has a cause... it's no more wayang games, it's real! real time operation... well, bout 70% of my unit (although my unit is very small) has been activated for this humanitarian mission to indonesia and india... sigh, hq coy was also activiated too but it's only for combat fit ppl... some combat fit ppl didn't wanna go, i hope that it's poss for us to replace them... but on the other hand, there're also risk involve... threat of terrorist kidnapping us, chance of snapping after seeing so many dead bodies, the strike of another tsunami... *touchwood* i guess my parents would be very worried too... i was making phone calls to the next of kin of some of the stc guys, and most parents were kindda worried bout their sons... they kept asking qns like how long will the deployment be, wat are the dangers, will their son be infected with disease, where will they sleep or eat, and many other qns... well, i was trying to reassure them and telling them that they should be proud of their sons for being part of this charitable effort...
the feeling of the entire episode is slowy sinking into me as i occupied myself with the ops stuff today... i dun really feel sad but rather i feel useless... i guess the only and best thing i can do now is to offer my prayers... there some things that are unavoidable... maybe it's really revelation unfolding itself... the end is soon...
may the air, sea and amphibious guys have a safe trip... god bless...
"pillar of confidence" - 3 saf tpt bn
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
a happy day...
it's a happy sunny day... 14 hours of sleep... sweet dreams... i just feel happy... refreshed soul... renewed spirit...
well, thanx sean for ur sharing... realised that work is dead, if u can't change ur predicament, change ur attitude towards it... that's the only way to be happy in a times and place where you do not have a choice... so i decided to come to work with a positive mindset, true enough i felt happier, though i still do the same amount of work... we all have a purpose in wherever we are, no matter how bad our situation, (i'm coming to terms with it) there will always be a lesson learnt, an opportunity to mould you to become a better, stronger person...
here's a prayer for everyone...
"dear lord,
please grant me
the serenity,
to accept the things i cannot change,
the courage,
to change the things i can,
and wisdom,
to know the difference..."
rushed to church for mime rehearsal in the evening... was happy... excited... i feel that it's like a replay or rather a reset from 4 years ago... we're singing the same theme song, i'm acting very similar role, the message is the same... but the style and the settings are different... it feels deja vu but yet it feels new... as though i'm given a new lease of life... this xmas will be the turning point... trust in god that it will be...
joan, thanx for the chalet... i really enjoyed the company of everyone... seems like yesterday where we were all together at the same place... doing the same jiaobinish stuff...
i'm just happy today!!!
hehehehehehe...
well, thanx sean for ur sharing... realised that work is dead, if u can't change ur predicament, change ur attitude towards it... that's the only way to be happy in a times and place where you do not have a choice... so i decided to come to work with a positive mindset, true enough i felt happier, though i still do the same amount of work... we all have a purpose in wherever we are, no matter how bad our situation, (i'm coming to terms with it) there will always be a lesson learnt, an opportunity to mould you to become a better, stronger person...
here's a prayer for everyone...
"dear lord,
please grant me
the serenity,
to accept the things i cannot change,
the courage,
to change the things i can,
and wisdom,
to know the difference..."
rushed to church for mime rehearsal in the evening... was happy... excited... i feel that it's like a replay or rather a reset from 4 years ago... we're singing the same theme song, i'm acting very similar role, the message is the same... but the style and the settings are different... it feels deja vu but yet it feels new... as though i'm given a new lease of life... this xmas will be the turning point... trust in god that it will be...
joan, thanx for the chalet... i really enjoyed the company of everyone... seems like yesterday where we were all together at the same place... doing the same jiaobinish stuff...
i'm just happy today!!!
hehehehehehe...
tour de singapore
tour de singapore has finally concluded... just the four of us, braving the night and changing weather conditions... nevertheless, we completed this feat of conquering the eastern part of singapore... well, i really gotta apologise to you guys, cuz i misread the map, which resulted in us ending up travelling 500m on expressway... upp changi road east merges 500m into tpe and ends at loyang junction... sigh, sorry guys for endangering ur lives... i know sean, ron and mmg will def kill me for this grave error... i'll definitely let everyone approve the route card the next time round... i've calculated the distance (courtesy of streetdirectory.com) which we travelled and here is the breakdown of them...
ecp bike shop - airport taxiway (9575.86m)
airport taxiway - saf ferry terminal (6381.27m)
saf ferry terminal - siglap 7/11 (16275.66m)
siglap 7/11 - katong bp stn (4428.20m)
katong bp stn - geylang lor 9 (2735.87m)
geylang lor 9 - esplanade (5135.71m)
esplanade - indoor stadium (5690.78m)
indoor stadium - ecp bike shop (5728.18m)
total mileage = 55951.53m (56km)
well, there will certainly be another tour de singapore organised in the near future and all are strongly welcome to join us... perhaps a few locations and adventure which we can look into would be exploring the western and southern trials, adventure trails in bt timah hills or macritchie...
apart from the thrill of biking and the magnificent night scenery of our lovely island, the brotherhood spirit in pushing on was great... maybe i was abit high that day that i wanted to complete our journey... but i guess it was cuz u all were around that's why i had the motivation to pia the last part of the journey... i wouldn't have done it if i were alone... anyway, kudos to everyone...
"open arms" by journey was played on the radio just as we entered mac aft completing our journey... what an appropriate song, it's the theme song for umizaru... an inspiring show about brotherhood...
ron powering up with apple pie
bike check
pit stop 1 @ siglap 7/11
油条supper at geylang lor 9
seeking shelter at a bus stop
awe... the singapore skyline
here are some postcards too...
ecp bike shop - airport taxiway (9575.86m)
airport taxiway - saf ferry terminal (6381.27m)
saf ferry terminal - siglap 7/11 (16275.66m)
siglap 7/11 - katong bp stn (4428.20m)
katong bp stn - geylang lor 9 (2735.87m)
geylang lor 9 - esplanade (5135.71m)
esplanade - indoor stadium (5690.78m)
indoor stadium - ecp bike shop (5728.18m)
total mileage = 55951.53m (56km)
well, there will certainly be another tour de singapore organised in the near future and all are strongly welcome to join us... perhaps a few locations and adventure which we can look into would be exploring the western and southern trials, adventure trails in bt timah hills or macritchie...
apart from the thrill of biking and the magnificent night scenery of our lovely island, the brotherhood spirit in pushing on was great... maybe i was abit high that day that i wanted to complete our journey... but i guess it was cuz u all were around that's why i had the motivation to pia the last part of the journey... i wouldn't have done it if i were alone... anyway, kudos to everyone...
"open arms" by journey was played on the radio just as we entered mac aft completing our journey... what an appropriate song, it's the theme song for umizaru... an inspiring show about brotherhood...
ron powering up with apple pie
bike check
pit stop 1 @ siglap 7/11
油条supper at geylang lor 9
seeking shelter at a bus stop
awe... the singapore skyline
here are some postcards too...
我也很想他
我也很想他 (电影“在世界的中心呼喊爱情”台湾中文主题曲)
那时我们总有好多话 什么事都可以讲
我的爱情比你早 却一直放在心上
后来你们之间的变化 我不想再多说话
经过了相遇和挣扎 我还是无法将他放下
那是多久后的事了 有一天你突然问我
在那个时候 是否也爱着他 我也很想他 我们都一样
在他的身上 曾找到翅膀 只是那时的他
是因为你他开始飞翔 我也很想他 在某个地方
我少了尴尬 你少了肩膀
而夏天还是那么短 思念却很长
还记得 那年我们三个许下的愿望
星星骗了我们 我们却因此上了一课
成长必修的学分 我们都一样
那时我们总有好多话 什么事都可以讲
我的爱情比你早 却一直放在心上
后来你们之间的变化 我不想再多说话
经过了相遇和挣扎 我还是无法将他放下
那是多久后的事了 有一天你突然问我
在那个时候 是否也爱着他 我也很想他 我们都一样
在他的身上 曾找到翅膀 只是那时的他
是因为你他开始飞翔 我也很想他 在某个地方
我少了尴尬 你少了肩膀
而夏天还是那么短 思念却很长
还记得 那年我们三个许下的愿望
星星骗了我们 我们却因此上了一课
成长必修的学分 我们都一样
Saturday, December 11, 2004
the forgotten is bliss...
i wake up... its slowly disappearing... it's blissful... one day, it'll all be gone... what a nice sleep and dream... you were there... you were also there...
我爱上让我奋不顾身的一个人 我以为
这就是我所追求的世界 然而横冲直撞被误解被骗
是否成人的世界背后 总有残缺 我走在 每天必须面对的分岔路
我怀念 过去单纯美好小幸福 爱总是让人哭 让人觉得不满足
天空很大却看不清楚 好孤独 天黑的时候 我又想起那首歌
突然期待 下起安静的雨
还是害怕夜深人静时总想起你
还是害怕的不经意听见你的消息
然而当爱已经沉淀得太清晰
当拥有已经是失去就勇敢的放弃
还是害怕一个人时就很难忘记
还是害怕突然宁愿当初没有决定
然而当爱最后的出口是分离
我会这么相信 走下去
喜欢听歌 感人的歌 它让我觉得 爱是对的
睡不着 我就醒着 喜欢唱歌 动人的歌
它让我获得一些心得 得不到 我就放掉
不再让日子被打乱了 寂寞很吵 我很安静
情绪很多 我很镇定 因为投入 所以放弃
不愿再被痛醒 固执算不算任性的要求
付出也可能看不到结果 终于你还是选择了放手
用逃避 让感情犯错 承诺算不算任性的要求
人总是不能太容易感动 当爱失去自我失去包容
只想要 从混乱解脱 喜欢唱歌 动人的歌
它让我获得一些心得 得不到 我就放掉
不去触碰到我的需要 喜欢唱歌 动人的歌
它让我觉得爱是对的
爱过你才学会离别 犯过错才学会后悔 哭过后才学会谅解
我会学会 我的世界 失去你拥抱的甜美 我学会珍惜的可贵
把我留在你身边是否就是幸福 两个人的世界你是否就很满足
对我你只有一再的约束 我的痛苦 你不清楚
跟我相爱或许你已摆脱了孤独 到底是你的全部还是你的宠物
我感受不到你爱的温度 如何相处 我不要束缚
这一刻 时间变成行李
越过生命悲喜 陪伴着我前进
因为你 让我看清自己
面对未知的恐惧 脚步更加坚定
放心离开 我我会记得这一刻
那些还飞翔着 不可思议的梦
雨后的天空 会有绚烂的彩虹
像最初相信着 我会找到 自由
最後一场赛跑 他开始踮脚
陌生人的喧闹 一句都听不到
想飞越 他不怕高
我爱上让我奋不顾身的一个人 我以为
这就是我所追求的世界 然而横冲直撞被误解被骗
是否成人的世界背后 总有残缺 我走在 每天必须面对的分岔路
我怀念 过去单纯美好小幸福 爱总是让人哭 让人觉得不满足
天空很大却看不清楚 好孤独 天黑的时候 我又想起那首歌
突然期待 下起安静的雨
还是害怕夜深人静时总想起你
还是害怕的不经意听见你的消息
然而当爱已经沉淀得太清晰
当拥有已经是失去就勇敢的放弃
还是害怕一个人时就很难忘记
还是害怕突然宁愿当初没有决定
然而当爱最后的出口是分离
我会这么相信 走下去
喜欢听歌 感人的歌 它让我觉得 爱是对的
睡不着 我就醒着 喜欢唱歌 动人的歌
它让我获得一些心得 得不到 我就放掉
不再让日子被打乱了 寂寞很吵 我很安静
情绪很多 我很镇定 因为投入 所以放弃
不愿再被痛醒 固执算不算任性的要求
付出也可能看不到结果 终于你还是选择了放手
用逃避 让感情犯错 承诺算不算任性的要求
人总是不能太容易感动 当爱失去自我失去包容
只想要 从混乱解脱 喜欢唱歌 动人的歌
它让我获得一些心得 得不到 我就放掉
不去触碰到我的需要 喜欢唱歌 动人的歌
它让我觉得爱是对的
爱过你才学会离别 犯过错才学会后悔 哭过后才学会谅解
我会学会 我的世界 失去你拥抱的甜美 我学会珍惜的可贵
把我留在你身边是否就是幸福 两个人的世界你是否就很满足
对我你只有一再的约束 我的痛苦 你不清楚
跟我相爱或许你已摆脱了孤独 到底是你的全部还是你的宠物
我感受不到你爱的温度 如何相处 我不要束缚
这一刻 时间变成行李
越过生命悲喜 陪伴着我前进
因为你 让我看清自己
面对未知的恐惧 脚步更加坚定
放心离开 我我会记得这一刻
那些还飞翔着 不可思议的梦
雨后的天空 会有绚烂的彩虹
像最初相信着 我会找到 自由
最後一场赛跑 他开始踮脚
陌生人的喧闹 一句都听不到
想飞越 他不怕高
an ill ect...
i'm down... lost my battle against the flu bug... but i'll be back in health again tmr for tour de singapore...
feeling betta now, was just too sianz diao just now with some commanders...
time to hit the bed and sleep... tmr will be a long day...
goodnight everyone... *yawnz*
feeling betta now, was just too sianz diao just now with some commanders...
time to hit the bed and sleep... tmr will be a long day...
goodnight everyone... *yawnz*
Friday, December 10, 2004
the law and leader...
still feeling high... prolly cuz of the little sleep... the pang sai theory really works...
anyway, let's congratulate mmg for crossing over to ocs... yay, another occifer to be... fortunately, it won't be alpha for him...
we come from many places
all across the land
of many different races
together hand in hand
united we stand
divided we fall
ready to serve our nation's call
therein lies the difference between a good officer and a bad officer... u can have the power, but wat do u do with so much power in your hands?
i think you have a disease, a disease that is so deadly...
you can live in your wonderland, or u can live in your berlin...
seriously, the law is neither black nor white...
seeing case files and preparing court martial cases can be confusing when preparing for the 1st time... many issues are debatable... would u stand up for righteousness? what is righteousness? who determines the serverity of the punishment? what is right? what is wrong? seriously, there is not absolute standard... it makes it feel sick...
you can twist and turn...
you can hide with your flamboyance...
you can wear a mask...
you can play ur game...
we are of no match for u in this field, but do remember that the higher u climb, the greater u fall...
i wouldn't want to join in ur little psycho game, cuz it'll only breed hatred...
i guess the only way to get rid of u will be to work with u...
we'll "glorify" u so much so that ur ego overflows with desires and craves...
we commoners don't mind sacrificing, cuz the truth and good hearted will eventually triumph over the evil... and u will be left alone to suffer in this cold cold world...
do absolute law exist? they do... i believe...
anyway, let's congratulate mmg for crossing over to ocs... yay, another occifer to be... fortunately, it won't be alpha for him...
we come from many places
all across the land
of many different races
together hand in hand
united we stand
divided we fall
ready to serve our nation's call
therein lies the difference between a good officer and a bad officer... u can have the power, but wat do u do with so much power in your hands?
i think you have a disease, a disease that is so deadly...
you can live in your wonderland, or u can live in your berlin...
seriously, the law is neither black nor white...
seeing case files and preparing court martial cases can be confusing when preparing for the 1st time... many issues are debatable... would u stand up for righteousness? what is righteousness? who determines the serverity of the punishment? what is right? what is wrong? seriously, there is not absolute standard... it makes it feel sick...
you can twist and turn...
you can hide with your flamboyance...
you can wear a mask...
you can play ur game...
we are of no match for u in this field, but do remember that the higher u climb, the greater u fall...
i wouldn't want to join in ur little psycho game, cuz it'll only breed hatred...
i guess the only way to get rid of u will be to work with u...
we'll "glorify" u so much so that ur ego overflows with desires and craves...
we commoners don't mind sacrificing, cuz the truth and good hearted will eventually triumph over the evil... and u will be left alone to suffer in this cold cold world...
do absolute law exist? they do... i believe...
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