pillar of confidence - 3 saf tpt bn...

there's so much to say.. too much... too much emotions to let out... too much ironies to face... how should i start... i'll talk bout 2004 soon...

but now, lemme say a few words bout the humanitarian mission... we all have this intrinsic human nature in us, which is love... the images of dead bodies and staggling victims are simply so real... it's so near, yet so far... it just feels so surreal... we have been too sheltered to get the real impact... that's why i wanna go for the mission, i believe sean and ron would agree with me that it's not just the participation, but rather it may change ur perspective towards life when u experience ground zero situation... i couldn't help it but felt very weird when i was preparing the nominal roll for those ppl who were activated from my unit... it felt suddenly for a moment that the things which i'm doing has a purpose, has a cause... it's no more wayang games, it's real! real time operation... well, bout 70% of my unit (although my unit is very small) has been activated for this humanitarian mission to indonesia and india... sigh, hq coy was also activiated too but it's only for combat fit ppl... some combat fit ppl didn't wanna go, i hope that it's poss for us to replace them... but on the other hand, there're also risk involve... threat of terrorist kidnapping us, chance of snapping after seeing so many dead bodies, the strike of another tsunami... *touchwood* i guess my parents would be very worried too... i was making phone calls to the next of kin of some of the stc guys, and most parents were kindda worried bout their sons... they kept asking qns like how long will the deployment be, wat are the dangers, will their son be infected with disease, where will they sleep or eat, and many other qns... well, i was trying to reassure them and telling them that they should be proud of their sons for being part of this charitable effort...

the feeling of the entire episode is slowy sinking into me as i occupied myself with the ops stuff today... i dun really feel sad but rather i feel useless... i guess the only and best thing i can do now is to offer my prayers... there some things that are unavoidable... maybe it's really revelation unfolding itself... the end is soon...

may the air, sea and amphibious guys have a safe trip... god bless...

"pillar of confidence" - 3 saf tpt bn